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I can't beleive it's not butter

I have had my share of body fluids, three years ago when we first moved into the big house we were out side cleaning up the lawn but while we were there the dogs where inside getting into everything. This was before we knew that they would get on the counter and surf for any thing eatable. We were still leaving thing out and not thinking about them getting on counter because they never had.  My kitchen was most definitely designed by a women she thought of everything. But the most obvious was she never had animal because there is a small counter between the wall and my island range and my counter.  Why they built it like that I will never know. The only thing it is used for around here is to sit on and the dogs use it to gain access to counter and the stove.  So while we worked away in the yard the dogs found the new tub of, I can't believe it's not butter. 2 pounds and 13 oz. size needless to say it was licked clean by the time we came back in.  Now not knowing who the guilty dog or dogs were we just through away the container and left it at that; a learned experience. So I had just started meds to sleep, after two years of only sleeping a couple of hour a night, I  finally said OK to taking them.  The next day after a wonderful sleep I got up and made breakfast for the kids.  I got everything cooked and was getting ready to sit down when one of the kids said "Mom whats all over your back"?
I don't know what does it look like. Eeeewww it something nasty. What does that mean it's something nasty, the kids were treating me like a leaper so I went to the bathroom to check the back of my shirt. As I am looking at my shirt the mental image of a dog puking on me came flashing into my head.  I fell out laughing and ran to my room where yes my wildest dream was true.  I had been puked on and then I slept in it all night long.  The bed was a disgusting mess of regurgitated, I can't believe it's not butter. The eeeewww feeling came over me and I went straight to the shower. Now the one sleeping up close to my head was Chiquita so I am assuming it was her. But the reality is I do not know who ate it or puked it up. But hey my meds worked I slept right though it all.

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