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Damn Dog vacation 2012

I planned our vacation around my oldest daughter short time off this summer; she took summer school and only had a couple of weeks at the end before fall semester started. As time grew near we found that the next oldest started her college before Labor day and she could not miss the first three classes because they would drop her,  We tried many things to get around this but nothing materialize but the fact that she could not go on vacation with us. Then last week the next oldest tells me her sister baby is due and she needs to go to her home the week we go on vacation to watch her other kids while she is in the hospital.  Well not much you can do about Mother Nature, so we are down to just the three of us and 7 dogs; I took advantage of the situation and left the geriatric cases at home. The camper is hooked up and camp fees paid we are going.  Now I still do not know how to back the thing up but I know I will give it the all American try.  I figure if all else fails I can go knock on someone else trail and beg for help. I surprised myself by backing it in between two trees and it only took 30 tries.  We got the trailer put up and proceeded to build a crude fenced in area for the dog to hang out and not have to be on leashes.  For 20 bucks I got a roll of garden fence 50 ft long and three feet high, and for another 8 bucks six stakes to hold it up.

At one point I was thinking I would just fence in the camper and a little of the camp site, but was not sure if the dogs crawling around under the thing was such a good idea either so we just fenced half of the campsite. Now we have had a lot of sight seers, gawkers and the likes stopping out front and checking out the fenced in camp site full of dogs. The looks and comments are starting to get annoying; but hey we are compliant. Most days I am happy to entertain folks but not on vacation, this is my time.  
I never would have guessed how boring we three are together the youngest wants to shop and hang out at the beach Buttttt not by herself, I am completely happy sitting her doing nothing lying around in a hammock, blogging or just reading.  The oldest doesn't care, but would rather I be with them, it keeps the fighting down to a college roar.  The 5 mile hike yesterday was all the excitement I needed. There is a small island just off the coast of Lake Michigan called Fisherman's Island, I thought because the drought this year that the water would be low enough and expose the land bridge that goes out to it. But I soon learned that walking the beach there was impossible because the rocky shore line was to ruff for us or the dogs to walk on.  We made it back to the road and hiked to the end form there only to find no pets allowed on the beach, ending our adventure at that point. The walk back was sucky as we did not see the island and or the lake itself, just the dusty road and I swear I ate at least a pound of dust no telling how much the dogs ate as they were closer to the stuff than I was; our feet was even white with dust.    This morning the youngest says we have till eleven and then we have to go to town and shop. Whatever!!!!  You’ll need a bomb to get me out of here.  It didn't take long for them to know I was not leaving camp and no way in hell was I going shopping.  

So the two girls set off to see the island without me and dogs.  Halleluiah and Amen, I’m alone at last. I tried to provide enough creature comforts for the dogs so they would not be a pain in my butt while camping, they have space to run, chairs and carpet to lay on and they can be with us and not have to be on a leash for a week, and the chipmunks have entertained them till I am ready to start pulling my last 10 hairs out. 

The sound of the waves lapping the shore line and the kids playing in the surf with camp ground chatter in the back ground was very  peaceful and relaxing sound and it put me to sleep until the dogs barking brought me back from my blissful slumber, to see the girls coming into camp.  Hungry and tired they pulled out the salsa and chip, made their cool aid water and began to talking my ear off.  The youngest loves hot spicy food no matter what it is, so just for her I got one hot salsa and one mild. Kids are kids and do the damnedest things of which makes me wonder how they really survive, the youngest is trying to open the salsa and balance a bag of chip the whole time keeping the dogs at bay, she was having a difficult time and I chose to ignore her rather than argue about putting the chips down and stand up to open the damn jar, as she put one more wrenching twist to the jar it came open as if it was an erupting volcano covering her in hot salsa. Now the dogs came in for the kill and started lapping up salsa, then come the drama, “Ma the dogs are eating me”. She jumped up and the red goo slid down the front of her and dripped on the heads of the closest dogs, it dripped into her sandals it had already got through her legs and on the chair. As she attempts to get out of the dog enclosure we are sitting in, the dogs are all over her, lapping up the stuff, now what appeared to be licking food; It has now become apparent that this is double duty licking as the fire in the sauce is starting to burn.  The tears are so thick I can't see anymore as the visions of an aromatic night, dance in my head and the kid ran for the lake dipping all the way.
As there is only three of us the dogs have plenty of sleeping places in the camper to select from, and they tried every last one of them and some went back to try out a spot several times.
In the morning the dog’s bladders go off way before ours but we all go out before the sun is up and take care of business. The girls do not want to hike down to the stinky out house so they tinkle in the bushes along with the dogs. As time went on unused spots became scares, I had to put my foot down as they ran out of bushes and places to pee and were encroaching on the camper and picnic table. 
Now not only do I have to deal with the damn kids and dog I have the wild life here that is not any better than the kids and dogs I brought with me to camp. This is not my first rodeo and I know better than to leave the trash bag on the ground for the animals to get into and this is our fourth morning here that I have had to clean up trash that has been strewn over the camp site during the night. I mean what the hell is wrong with me.  The fist night we left all the food in plastic boxes on the picnic table and either the chipmunks or some Raccoons’ with tiny teeth ate one of the boxes.  The contents were untouched but the box is no more.  They did however leave a nice little pile of green plastic for me to clean up. I thought they were all possessed and going to do in me and the dogs. Hell they even shit on the picnic table after they ate the chips. GAWD
 Even the ice cream truck drove through, can't say I ever seen this before but I never had kids before either.

As the morning progresses I learned that a sleepy kid and a hammock do not necessarily bond well. I was a sitting in the lounge chair drinking my coffee and she staggers out of the camper looking as if the sand man hit her with a bag of sand instead of sprinkling star dust.  I ask if she was awake yet and she shook her head the best she could without falling out of the trailer.  I watched her walk over to the hammock and pull it open and fall smack on her butt. Now she has leaf debris in her hair and all over her cloths and the look of shock on her face.  “What the hell is wrong with you?  I thought you were awake”.  I don’t think she knew what to rub first, her ass or her eyes. 
 Now if you can't find a hair tie just use your shirt to tie your hair back.
 Even if the sun is going down and its time for bed you still need sunglasses. The day we went to town to shop, one of the girls has her favorite hoody on and waiting for the rest of use to get our butts in gear. She is playing with the dogs and one of them came up to her and rubbed his head all over her. She was laughing and said "Ma, what is on his face"?  I don't know but its on you too. The bastard dog ate shit and wiped his mouth on me. Okay, so you have on a Beaver shit shirt instead of a Beaver Island shirt......,  I'm not sure if she was crying as she left to change or cussing me. Either way it was funny, I love it when they get the kids and not me.
Now just trying to relax has its moments of what the Hell.  A dog scratching his butt on my butt and a kid who does not want any one to see her Asian eyes.  I just roll my eyes in disbelief. Who knew?
 We took a hike down to the flats and looked at the stone sculptures I do not have any idea when this started or why but every year I go down to see these interesting lithic structures.  I never see the same ones as they are destroyed as waves or winter weather displace them. Then more are built. 
     Now every vacation has its down points and this one had a good one at the end. We had all things pack away the camper supports and ends put away and ready to lower it, knowing the battery was dead I backed the van up to it and hooked in the pig tail from the car and started it up and nothing.  To make that long ass story short we ended up hiking up to Ranger station and Ranger Rick came down and took the motor apart to lower it manually. Trust me it was not that simple this was a three hour ordeal to get the damn thing down so we could come home. I had some choice words this morning when I learned it would be two more weeks before the dealer can work on it.  OK so I am sure by the time they get it open again the food, cloths, pee blankets and dirty dishes will just be in a wonderful conducive condition to grow and support unwanted life forms. I can hardly contain myself waiting for this moment. As Ranger Rick rides off I jump in the van yell out "count the dogs" and hooked my seat belt. Put it in drive and looked up and here is the youngest running in front of the van yelling "Count the kids Ma" Vacation 2012 is now over but there will be residual effects to come, of this I am sure.


The nose knows

I think someone missed their calling. The nose knows....

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WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Big ears.

I find that I will react to a situation without any further thought, even if the situation repeats itself many times.  I guess something about the situation has to keep annoying me before I think about what the hell is going on.  Now Joey has the biggest ears and they stand straight up and he is a bit bigger than most Cresteds, I am sure it is because he is a mix.  Now when he sits on my lap he loves to lean on my chest and tilt his head back words and then the licking starts. He is persistent and he will put force behind the lean so he stays there.  With the force come some discomfort as he is smashing and mashing my mammary glands, they no long have a function other than making my cloth fit better, but they are not numb my no means and so I find myself instinctually moving my body and head to repossession myself to relieve the pressure being apply by the dog. At the same time the ears are in my face no matter where my head is his ears are always in my face.  I cause myself pain just trying to move my face out of the way of his ears.  After a period of time I have to put him to the floor. He is a snuggle bug but it is often a pain full warm and fuzzy moment. 

Last night not being any different I am trying to eat a sandwich and he wants to smash my chest as his tongue is lapping the air in front of my face hoping for a lick of the sandwich.   I put him to the floor but he comes back and I am in the unthinking reaction mode as I try to catch the, who done it, on the show I am watching.  As I have my head tilted back as far as I can get away from the flapping tongue as possible to take a bite, I end up with mayo on my face, I reach for the napkin and the ears are right there rubbing the mayo all over my face and it’s in his ear fringe. Now here comes the other dogs to see if they can get in on the food action, I finally get my presents of mind and throw them all to the floor. I now have mayo all over me and the dogs are chasing Joey to lick his ear.  As I am cleaning up I realize how much these dogs have me conditioned to them.  I don’t think I just try to get my face out of there way instead of putting their butts to the floor.  What the hell is wrong with me?  The dogs have totally taken advantage of my lack of presents of mind and I let them. Well I am on to them now and will be aware of what they are making me do.  No more thoughtless reaction to them, the little bastards.  It’s bad enough when a human does it to me now I realize how long the dogs have been playing me.  


Ugly brothers

Out of all dogs that I have had the privilege of helping into a new family and life I have never met any like the hooligan boys.  In their defense they are the most loving and velcroed dogs one could ever want, they are so happy to see you their garden hose tails can almost send you to the ground. They are full zest, shit and vinegar. They are the proverbial  Denice the Menace that has had way too much caffeine, a trick-or-treat bag of candy washed down with a 5 hour energy drink. They have no stop button: It is go full time. They feed off each others energy. One will hop in my lap for a little one on one snuggle time and the other one will come over and start a game of tag you're it. This is done by body slamming me at the same time grabbing a leg, ear, neck what ever body part that is close to grab. Now the game is on, the one in my lap then propels himself off my lap sending me and my chair into motion. They run so fast chasing each other that they can not stop and just run into walls, chairs, doors any thing that is in front of them. They have caught me off guard and just bowled me over. There is no watching TV or listening to music because when they play they snort and sneeze and shake it is so loud the only thing to do is turn up the volume.  Telling them to stop is like standing in front of a freight train and yelling stop, the results are the same. They are not bad boys they just can find any and everything to get into.  They are a big tease and will drive the girls crazy. They call them the ugly brothers.  They talk to them like they are chastising a kid and they are the Mom. It cracks me up because the whole time they are getting the big smack down with the wagging tails and kisses on every square inch of exposed skin. The dogs love them and they tell them they are ugly, bad and then move over on the couch to make room for them. The girls cover them up like a baby and hug them.  The hooligan boys eat it up. 
There was a brief period of time that they were separated and Marley calmed down instantly and was a wonderful little dog. I know the boys are going to be a great addition to a family but in the meantime they are a handful together.  We were upstairs this morning watching TV and eating some breakfast when I notice the boys were not in the room so I sent one of the girls to my room; the place of so much mischief. The boys came running back in the living room and she returned a minute later and said they ate the potato chips and donuts. How did they get the donuts?    The chip where up but not totally unreachable for them. But the donuts where in the pantry on the top shelf.  This one has left me scratching my head on how the hell they got the donuts. I was eating a sandwich a couple of nights ago and writing some e-mails when the phone rang. I put the plate with my sandwich on the top of the computer desk where I believe they can not reach.  NOT! they just used the key board to help them get up there.  I learned this after yelling about them getting my sandwich and settling back into finishing my e-mail when I found the screen totally full of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,  My GAWD how long did you stand on the thing. So much for the sandwich and the e-mail.
Now they do not sleep together any where because they don't sleep.  I used to put them in the kennel together at night but all they did was lay in there and wag there tails and bite on each. The sound of  snorting and the tails hitting the side of the kennel can wake the neighbors next door.  So now one sleeps in the kennel and one sleeps on my bed and this has been a miracle for my sleep. It's as if they plug into each others energy and until unplugged they are incapable of slowing down or stopping, They have been the center of me pulling my hair out, scratching my head in disbelief and tones of after the fact laughter.  I so can't laugh at the time but later when I recall everything it sends me into bouts of laughter.  They are almost human in the way they tease me and the girls the look in their eyes is one of a mischiefest child.  I am sure that when they go I will miss them but now is not that time.   


Cute food?

My company that I work for promotes health to its fullest.  We get paid to stay healthy, fresh fruit daily, free yearly physicals, etc.  One of the fun parts of this is once a month the Sue chef here puts on a healthy cooking/eating class.  She has prepared all ingredients a head of time and bags them up and after the class they sell the package that feeds 4 people at a low coast of 5 dollars.  So this month it was a summer pasta salad.  It came with 4 bags of cooked pasta a huge bag of precut fresh veggies right out of the company’s organic gardens, sea salt, fresh herbs and olive oil.  Everything is pre measured and packaged up and they take the 5 bucks out of your check no money need at the time.  
Now one of the girls has an obsession with cute food as she calls it. She loves to watch the cooking show to see how they make food look (cute) yummy.  She sees a picture of some dish on the cover of a Better Homes and Gardens and she want me to get the ingredients so she can make the cute food.
Last night I brought the bag of ingredients home and asked her if she wanted to prepare it.  She got so excited and could hardly wait to cook it.  I went to my room to check on e-mails and mostly play around on the computer.  I hear the sounds of pans bagging in the kitchen and rustling plastic bags and knew she was cooking.  After some time went by one of the other girls comes down and wants to use the camera, so I gave it to her and went back to what I was doing; not long after that I hear  her say “No, don’t take the picture yet”. This certainly peaked my curiosity, so I  moseyed up to the kitchen where she had move everything to the sides of the kitchen so it would not be in the picture and she is putting the veggies in the pan but did not want the bag in the picture. She wanted it to look like she was the prep cook and chef all in one. Now she had the other girl take pictures of her stirring the veggies in every possible angle to get the best picture, they must have taken 30 pictures. She did not want me in them because someone might think I was telling her what to do.  The dog had his nose in many of the pictures and she hated that.  I told her no one would think he was helping her.  I said “what are you doing”?  Ma I want to make cute food.  You have been watching too many cooking shows, now you think your Paula Deen.   Are you making Turktaino?  For all who do not know about a turktaino,


Total Meltdown, shared

Over the years I have become accustom to my own last straw meltdowns.  From my own perspective I can’t say what others see because at the moment of having one I am overwhelmed with something and so completely consumed with anger I only have one thing on my mind, make it stop.   I rarely have them but I am sure my head lifts off my shoulders and spins around and the mouth does not stop spewing shit. I have not seen anyone have one of these, so I for a long time have thought this was some flaw in my character and most likely needed some anger management classes; but just never got around to it.  My kids have witness two of them and my co-worker one.  Now the first one even shocked me when it happened.  We were on a road trip taking a dog to TX.  It happened on the turnpike around Oklahoma City.  I was headed to Dallas and needed to get on Hwy 35:  I did not want to get on the turnpike and I knew it was very close and I had one chance at getting the highway I needed to avoid all the tolls booths that I really hate to deal with. I absolutely hate to stop to pay someone a few coins so I can keep going.
The rain started and then became heavy, transport trucks are totally taking up the right hand lane, so I pulled in behind one and was being squeezed and could not see any signs till they were right in front of me or already passed them. Needless to say I missed my exit. Now I am mad and tired when we hit the first booth. I am not sure how much I had to pay any more but it was coins no bills.  The booths were not manned with humans at all. They did have some change machines but they did not work.  I would have gotten through it if they only had one of the damn things but every 5 miles I had to pull off the highway to put some coins in the basket.  That part of it was horrible but when I ran out of change and the machines did not work I slipped away into madness.  I was screaming at the kids to go through everything to find change. Check your pockets, go through my purse, just empty the damn thing and see if there is any change in the bottom.  The ashtray got stuck as I tried to see if there was any in it and almost hit myself in the head as I was strong arming the thing out and it let loose and nearly killed me.  The kids came up with a few coins and it was just enough to get me through the toll booth.  Then to top it all off I missed the basket and the coins fell on the ground.  I can’t open my door because I am too close to the basket and I can’t pull forward or I’ll take out the gate, and there was idiot that was snug up on my bumper so backing up was out of the question.  The horns started to blow as the cars backed up and I sat there stuck.  I got the door open just enough to reach down but I now have to get my butt out of the seat and shove it in the air to give myself more reaching room.  I cannot for the life of me remember the shit I was yelling, the kids tell me it was really bad. The melt down was shocking to me and the kids as I had never done this before.  I did manage to get the coins and get past the booth but it was one of the hardest things I had ever done.  The pain involved with pinching my arm and boob between the door and the seat to stretch my hand down to the ground with my ass in the air shoved up on the stirring wheel, was just the final straw.  I was charged to get off the toll road so I could get change and I was charge to get back on the thing so I could get to a highway and head to Dallas. I was physically ill after that.  I was so sure I had a stroke but I did live through it and never wanted to have one again.
My daughter had a melt down and all I could do is laugh. Now if she would have laughed at me I am sure I would be in prison and not blogging now.  It started out with some small irritating things. I’ m not even sure what they were; I knew by the sound of her walk that she was pissed.  You know the sound of a pissed off teenager when they storm out of a room; it makes the whole house quake. At that point I am all ears to zero in on the problem.  I hear “who pooooooed here”?  (Stomp, stomp, stomp, bang) as the door slammed shut, then the obvious reason rears its ugly head.  Then the door opens again and a shrieking scream come race down to the basement.  “Who shit”? Then her potty mouth kicks in and she stomped into the kitchen yelling, "you dogs stop pooping Damn it, now the door slams again.  There was a moment of silence then the screaming started up again.  Get off, Get off, don’t touch me (scream) you little bastard you scratched me, get down.   I yelled up stairs “what is going on up there”?  These dogs won’t leave me alone. Don’t flatter yourself they treat all of the same. (Now I am snickering to myself because it’s about time they picked on the kids instead of me) Then the GAWG awful scream came.  WTF who shit????? Stop cussing, and now I am in full blown laughter. It is hard to correct them while laughing.  Ma stop it’s not funny. Maaaaaaa STOP.  So I buried my head in a pillow because there was no stopping. (Bang) man I thought she was going to take the door off that time. To understand the entire door slamming thing, it’s because I had enough garbage problems so I threw the waste basket away and everyone must walk outside to throw their garbage away in the big curby, this alone pisses everyone off. I am making a point and I hope they get it soon because I am making a thousand trips a day out there to. NOOOOOOOOOO who peed here? Now I have to go upstairs because she is really losing it. When I get up there she is mopping up, I said “put them all out side for a while till they get this out of their system”.  She jumps and said “come on doggies get OUT” then the hooligans started the catch me if you can.  I thought she was going to cry. Then I saw her head lift off her shoulders and spin around, I swear, pressurized steam blowing out both ears. YOU BASTARDS,  (Stomp, stomp, stomp BANG) as she disappeared into her room. As I finish getting the dogs out and mopping up, I can’t stop laughing, I even buried my moth in my shoulder but I just busted loose. Finally they drove someone else over the cliff of insanity.  I am real sure she had some choice words for me too.


Boring eater.

I tend to be a boring eater. You know the kind that eats the same thing everyday, because mostly it taste good and I don't have to give any thought, to what will I eat tomorrow  morning.  Coffee and bagel, I eat them every morning for years if I am away from home I eat them straight from the bag, at home I toast them with butter. Either way is fine by me.  My morning are filled with routine and it allows me time to wake up and face the day.  The less I have to think about in the morning the better my day is. Now I don't let the kids eat MY bagels because if I go to the bag and it is empty well there is  a lot of me bitching and whining about eating the last of the only food I care about.  The kids can't stand my bitching so they have learned a long time ago to leave Ma's bagels alone and life is much easier. But they tease the hell out of me about the damn bagels.  Ma, did you bring your bagels? Ma, do you know how many bagels are left? Ma, I ate one of your bagels and you didn't even know.... What Ma?, no bagel this morning? Will you live with out them?  etc.....
Weekend before last we had to drive down to the AR, MO boarder to pick up two dogs.  Now it was not bad enough that it was the maiden voyage of the camper and I got my panties twisted in a knot over that but Archie got my bagels. I almost went over the edge, but the kids had fun teasing me about my bagels. 
We got up and one by one took dogs out on their leashes to let them pee. Now this can be problematic as when the little snots are up and moving everything become a fire hydrant of sorts and the pissing Olympics begin. I have two dogs and I am barking out orders to the girls to get leashes and collar on the others and don't let them pee on anything. The drama starts and the screaming and yelling coming from the camper is loud enough to wake the dead along with the entire camp. I went to the door and yelled just put Weezie and Archie out here with out a leash they won't go any were give me two more dogs and keep em coming. This procession  of dogs and screaming got us an audience that I really would have preferred to not have. We finally got them all out and doing there business When Archie puts his nose to the ground and wonders off.  I see him out the corner of my eye and yell at the girls to grab him.  They were most obedient as the quickly scooped him up and put him in the van and we finished walking the dog. Archie is my senior old man that I have not determined if he is going deaf or has selective hearing. He has one eye and that is going blind. About the only thing left on the old boy that works is his nose. He can spell any things eatable or uneatable as in the case of garbage or poo.  He is not choosy he likes it all. All the dogs are walked and we are folding blankets and cleaning up inside the camper getting ready to leave. I tell one of the girls to take things out and pack them in the back of the van, when I hear the over dramatize scream that teenage drama queens have.  The one that is full of disgust and ,can you hear me now, coming from out side.  Then came the ARCHIEEEE!!! Ma's going to kill you and then the hysterical laughter. As I look out the screen there is my kid laughing her ass off as she holds up my bag of bagels he was munching on. Archie is looking on from the van as if he had no idea what all the fuss was about. Then she opens the door and starts in with, Ma look what Archie did to your bagels.  Sorry, Ma you won't have any for breakfast, through her tears of laughter.
At this point I am not sure who I want to kill first the Damn kid or the Damn dog.


The Maiden voyage....

 As life goes I was presented with a reason to take the camper out on her maiden voyage.  I got the call at work that two dogs needed to be brought into rescue and they were down on Arkansas and Missouri border. Ok now this is why I got the damn thing so I would not have to worry about these calls and hotels for 10 plus dogs and 4 or more kids. Two of the kids are away for camp and one at college so that left me and one kid and 9 dogs.  The more I thought about backing the damn thing up the more nervous I became.  I called my daughter and told her to get things together we might leave when I got home or early in the morning depending on working on getting the dogs pulled and moving them north.  As I worked out the final details I started to think hell there is just the two of us I can leave it at home and we can sleep in the back of the van.  By the time I got home I was ready to scrap the whole idea of using this camper and I would just find a motel with outside entrance to sneak dogs into. As it turned out we were to leave at 6 am so I had time to think about this camper looming over me in my drive way.  I finally got mad at myself for spending so much time worrying about taking this or not; I cursed  myself and went to the drive way and positioned the van to back it under the trailer ball.  Now, I not only have to get this trailer on, I have to do it with some confidence to show my daughter how women can do anything and not be afraid.  Ya, I was really scared about getting the damn thing stuck or jackknifing it. As I started to put the stabilizer on and get the bars that are stiff as a board up and hook on, I thought now don’t smash your finger in this or you will have a problem. I took it one step at a time and worked it like a puzzle as my daughter watched with the most concerned face I have ever seen her with.  Now the fact that the humidity and my meds, OH and just the whole flame on part of life I am in, caused me to start sweating like a faucet turned on full. My face became fire engine red and my hair plastered to my head as if someone dumped a bucket of water on me. Then I hear the alarm in my daughters voice as she says” Mom are you okay” I stopped went to get some paper towel and mope my head and said “Now I am” We both laughed and I finished hooking the trailer up. We put all are stuff in the van and some kennels then went inside and had a bite to eat and went to bed. We got up and got things around and the anxiety started to build, so when I walked out the door and locked it behind me, I thought I was going to throw up.  This is it sink or swim. I got out the drive way and drove less than a block and remember some paper work I needed. I made this huge U-tern in the middle of the street. I swear my confidence came flooding in I could not believe I did that without a bit of thought. I looked at my daughter and said “don’t try this at home I’m a trained professional”. I got my paper work by parking along the road because I still can’t back up.  The trip continued on to my other daughter campus where we picked her up so she could go with us.  It wasn’t long before I felt totally comfortable driving with the camper on the back.  My Gawd I spent a hell of a lot of time worrying about this trail and it was not bad at all.  It seemed strange for the first time in forever to only think of myself and I wasted it on worry.  Things went back to normal as I am having a fit about not being able to read signs because of all the trucks blocking my view.  My oldest starts saying she can’t read the signs because she does not have her glasses on.  I said” get the damn things on and help me out here”. From the back seat I hear “mom I can read all the signs if I could read English”.  As we all laughed I knew all would be Ok.  Then the sound of gaging that dogs make one second before they empty the contents of their stomach came looming out from between the seat, Gertrude let it go all over Weezie as she snoozed on the floor between the front seats and got the semi new purse, that sent the girls into their own, dramatic version of being grossed out, I laughed at them as they cleaned it up and sprayed Weezie and the contents of my purse with fabreeze, and yell at me to stop laughing it wasn’t funny. We bring old bath towels we have just for cleaning up after dogs that the girls used.  I myself never saw what happened to the towels after that but they did come back to haunt me on the return trip, when I grab a folded one and whipped my moth and face with it; then I was grossed out.
We arrived at our meeting point within five minutes of the other transporter without any further problems. We got the two dogs and chit chatted for a minute or two and then we went to the RV park close by. As RV parks go I cannot imagine any one staying in this thing for more than a sleep over.  There were some huge RV’s that screamed the owner may have had a dollar or two more than me.  They had their satellite dishes, AC and it was very obvious these folks had been here awhile.  I ask the owner if he had a pull through and he said yes.  I walked out to see the pull through and found it was smack dab in the middle of the hot sun with no shade. The temps crept up over 100 and there was no way we would survive this in the sun.  Back it up or cook to death, can’t say either of those options looked good to me but I decided being embarrassment was better than being cooked to death. Now as the owner stood by with his supervisory skills on what, when and where I should move the trailer, I thought please don’t let me run this man over accidentally or purposely.  We did get it put up and all went well and we cooked any way. I have now overcome the beastly camper and no one died and I only had minimal embarrassment.  


Birthday love :)

I am not one to celebrate my Birthday as it was just another day. It  was not my parents fault because we went camping every year my whole life last week of July the first week of August, and we always camped. So no cake, no parties, but I did not care as I never had one and camping was the best part of summer and I always looked forward to it.  My Mom is a professional cake decorator and she always made cakes for everyone but me.  I never even realize I never got a cake because we had cake at our house all the time as mom would try new things we got the experimental cakes or the occasional disaster cake.  Because we never ate all the cakes she would freeze them for later. As I got older it just never occurred to me that celebrating is a big thing.  Now I have kids and I am a shit as I forget their birthdays and feel so bad.  The kids went together and got me an awesome birthday present.  I have always wanted to ride in a hot air balloon, one of those bucket list things that I just have not gotten around to doing. They gave me a gift certificate for a ride in a hot air balloon.  I have to call and pick the day I want to go.  They gave me the certificate while I was driving to MO,AR boarder to rescue two dog.  All I wanted to do was give them a huge hug, so I did the next best thing told them to stick their head next to me so I could kiss it. 10 years ago you could have ask me what I thought I would be doing at 60 and I could never have guessed I would have all these kids and dogs. I am so blessed to have these girls.  The kids and dogs started to come just about the same time and it was a slow progressing thing that in a very short time consumed me.  I never look back and never ask why, it had to be this way because I truly feel this is my purpose for being.  I feel so lucky to have been blessed with this life.  I love you girls and Damn Dogs.