I can talk about all the chaos in my life but until I started writing about it, did I really understand how bad it is. You put it in writing and you'll see the bigger scope of things. I guess it snuck up on me over the years so subtle and then it became more noticeable but still I thought hey what would I talk about if I did not have all this stuff in my life. Every time we would go on vacation or someone would complain about some part of their vacation that just made it the worst. I would say if all went as planned and nothing happened what would you talk about. It just makes you a more interesting person when you have something to talk about, no one wants to hear It was a great time the weather was perfect plane trains and auto were all on time and not a problem. We are humans and we tend to find the unexpected much more interesting. The chaos that drives us to the brink of craziness. The parts of our lives that make others go OMG. That’s what makes us interesting. Now this is my opinion and not some fact I picked up on a talk show. Maybe this is how come I never realized how out of control things have become. When folks hear about me they all say, I don’t know how you do it. I just get up put one foot in front of the other and go. Now since I started to put my life in writing I can’t believe how I do it either. Have I become so ho hum about my life; the if you can’t fix it deal with it, that keeps my blinders on. I keep thinking that my blogging will slow because I won’t have anything left to write about. I thought maybe once a week I would write something. Wow how can this be the shit just keeps on coming. I must be a nut case to do this day in and day out. I have gone so far off the interesting person scale to the, other she is lying or commit her now scale. My dogs have gone from local celebrities to total annoying little bastards. How did this happen to me. I am not sure how it got this far out of control and I am not totally sure I know if I can fix it. Whatever it is, I don’t even know that. What is normal what is expectable, is there a line that got crossed, did I just bite off more than I can chew? I found blogging to be a new stress reliever but now it is causing me to think I need a therapist. I know that living with the blinders on got me through all of this and I didn’t question none of it.
I will not ponder this anymore because It truly is not a good feeling so I think I will put my blinders back on and put one foot in front of the other, It got me though the day and that’s all I need to do.