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Stepping out side of my comfort zone is something that has not come easy. I have always known that if I never strayed from the norm I would have a not so interesting life. That we must all step outside the box to find excitement, wonder, adventure and test ourselves to the fullest. I find it easier now to do this than before but I will not think about the problems that will come from my actions. I just know I will except what ever they are. This is the only way I can keep going and not get paralyzed with the, What if,  I had a wonderfully not complex life that I did what I wanted when I wanted. I woke up everyday happy and went to bed the same. Now most say what is wrong with that. Everything and nothing, It depends on what you want from life. I did not want my life to be meaningless. So I knew that the comfort zone was a place I must leave. Leave I did. I have never looked back and have no regrets. I try to meet life head on and take it by the horns. The only thing I treat different is my job. I will not make a mistake there. It is too close to start over. I endure and put up with any thing that comes my way on the job. After my 40 hours it is full steam ahead.
In my life I have been taken, struck with awe, and unable to let go of some things.  The Peruvian Inca Orchid dogs of Peru is one of these things. For almost 20 years I have had a love affair with this breed, that I never thought I would be able to see or touch in real life.  I read and investigated them when ever I had a chance. A few people knew of my love for these dogs but I am sure no one knew how intense it is. I love the Chinese Cresteds and will always love them. I have no idea what draws me to the PIO. Last year I found a rescue for the breed and was so excited to think there was a chance for me to get one. I am a rescuer from heart and will not buy a dog I will only rescue no matter how much the money, it has no meaning to me. The fact there there are millions of dogs that need help is what drives this in me. I learned quickly that there really are not any of these dogs to rescue. There are a few mixed and a very few that are cast offs. But the number of people who want these dogs out number the dogs themselves. I settled for just looking at all the pictures of the dogs I so wanted and just kept dreaming.
One day I found a plea on the internet to help a PIO that has been hit by a car. Now at this point there is no looking back. I realize quickly that the dog was not in USA but I was determined to do what ever I could to help. As I became more and more involved I was being sucked down the rabbit hole and was unable to stop myself. This rescue lead me to Peru. I first was trying to get the dog  put on the plane as cargo and shipped to me. I knew that I just could not do this I had to go there and get the dog. There is a language barrier  that I knew was going to be very difficult so I ask my daughter who speaks Spanish to come with me to interpret for me. This was not to be either. She is a permanent   resident of the USA but not a citizen yet. Neither of us thought about the fact that she would need a visa.  I did not need one but she did. She was sent straight back to USA after we landed.  This took both of us by surprise and I knew I must make a decision to stay alone and get the dogs or go back with her. I love my daughter and would put my self in front of a speeding bus to save her. But I also knew she was in no danger just not what we were prepared for. The next four days for her was not so pleasant. She had to go through some tough soul searching during this time.  She did do fantastic even though it was not what she thought this trip would be about.   I went on and found that I could communicate on a very basic level during the process. I met a wonderful fellow rescuer there and stand in awe of this lady who traveled around the city on public transportation with dogs food and medicine in her back pack for dogs in need.   She had a house full of PIO's and got others to help foster these dogs by giving them food and medicine to take care of them while she found homes for them. She is known very well in the PIO dog world of  Lima. She shows the dogs, fosters and rescues them. She is determined to keep the breed from being lost. There is a lot of paper work involved in taking the dogs out of Peru and she helped get this all done for me. I did get to rescue two of these wonderful dogs and am now back in the states with them. My daughter is safe and I am safe our experiences were not the same but she stayed and waited for me in Miami to help get the dogs back to Michigan.  The airlines would not fly the dogs all the way to Michigan as the temperature was below 45 degrees and so I could only get them to Chicago. This just being one more thing to sift through to get these dogs here. I called my friend and ask her to drive 5 hours to Chicago to get us and the dogs back home. I am real sure this is not what she had in mind for the rest of her day. But with out hesitation she jumped into the car and headed for Chicago. I will forever be in debated to these two women and my daughter for standing by me as I went down the rabbit hole of  uncertainty and unable to stop myself. I dragged them with me and never even asked if they wanted to go. I believe that this is true friendship and love, that folks can do the things they did.  I am so happy to have these kinds of friends. I know some times my kids think I love the dogs more than them but this is so far from the truth. I love them even more because they have given up for the dogs. I got on the fright train of desire and never thought about any of the consequences I just knew some where in my soul I needed to do this. To all the people I may have run over, taken advantage of or harmed in any way doing this I am truly sorry for all. It was never my intention to harm anyone just get the dogs. To my kids I do love you more than you can ever know. To all who help me in every way I am so thankful to have such friends as you.
When it comes to the kids and dogs that are in need I throw caution to the wind and jump in and go and to my friends who have stood by me, Thank you all.



I seen life coming at me but I did not think it would explode in my face.  My car has had a noise problem for years when it is started in the cold morning, more of a scream. My mechanic told me before the holidays that the power steering was not going to last. I change the fluid and decided to run it till it died then spend the money to fix it. I just became so accustom to the morning scream I forgot that this was going to come back and bite my ass.  Now Taxes are a night mare for me so I put it off till I have no choice and must  do it. That often leaves me days and sometimes hours to get it in. This year being no different.  I was super busy and it was very easy to tell myself I did not have time. I made an appointment to get it done early hoping to push myself into doing it early and not having to take a day off from work to finish before the dead line.   That didn't work I cancelled. My co-workers tried to shame me. I just laughed at them and said it is what it is. My kids raged on me about getting them done early this year but I did not heed there warnings of you know what it will be like the day before. I thought I have a whole weekend to get them done so I can wait.
Rescue does not always happen at the best times. Not that I had to rescue a dog but I did need to transport two dogs and had no other choice but to do it this weekend.
I have ventured into one of the biggest endeavors I have personally ever attempted to do. My dream has been for many years to have a PIO that fact that I am a rescuer make it totally impossible to go to a breeder to get one. They are just rare enough to almost never see them in rescue.  I answered a plea to help a PIO that was injured and needed to be rescued.  Not really knowing where the dog was I jumped into action to help. Little did I know the dog was in Peru. Now as I sank deeper into this and the twist and turns it was taking. I ended up to my eye brows in this rescue not knowing where or how it would happen.  I have lost all my senses and to get straight to the point will get on a plane in 5 days to Peru not only for one dog but two. I have no idea what I am doing, If I did I might not be doing this. I am aware of how stupid I am being and that this could end up a huge train wreck. But am pushing forward to make this happen. So the explosion started last Tuesday as the power steering finally went. My job has become a head ace and I have ask for so much time off that getting one more off to finish my taxes is impossible. So between the van, the kids stuff and the PIO rescue, every night  has been filled till late. I have no brain cells in the evening so sitting down to do taxes just did not happen. I had to go to Alabama to take one dog and bring one back. I called my friend she said we could use her car and left the van with the mechanic. She picked me up after work on Friday drove straight down, was there by 5:30 am swapped dogs and was back on the road home by 8:30. We drove till we got into Indiana when my daughter called and said Archie my senior dog was not walking any more. My heart sunk as I knew it was his time and I was not there for him. I have been in denial about how long he could keep going. I see him get up get drinks of water eat beg for food and sleep in front of the heat vent. I knew he was very old and was going but I thought he would go last year. I watched his body deteriorate but his zest for life kept him going. I never gave it a thought that the time would be now. I got home late on Sat. I had no car and I had to finish my taxes on Sunday.  I bathed him and wrapped in towel and we went to sleep together. I thought surely he would pass during the night. He did not and was drinking water again in morning. I kept my mind on the task at hand and finished getting all my stuff together for the tax appointment at 2. By 11 I was not able to keep my head on. I could not stand by while my love was fading before my eyes and I had no idea of what kind of pain he was in or discomfort. I call my vet and was told she was on her way to work. I then called my mom as she was taking me to the tax appointment I want her to come early. No answer. I hung up and then she drove in the drive. I ask her if I could use the car. I drove Archie to the vet. I was so focused on the what I had to do I did not have time to think of what I was doing. I was taking my dog to be put to sleep. As I sat there waiting for the vet it hit me. I must say goodbye for the last time. The pain was sharp and stinging. I had not given myself the time to except this. I acted as though it was just the process of life and it would hurt and then I would get over it and go on. I  cried and my vet hugged me and left with his frail lifeless body on my lap. I totally lost it on the way home. I had to pull over to get my self together so I could drive. Now I must hurry home and continue on with life. I took him to the garage and put him in a box on the shelf. I went in got my papers and went to get my taxes done. My mom never says anything to me because she know I will act like nothing is wrong and keep all my pain to myself.  Taxes done, kids are home, dogs fed, dinner is over and one of the kids ask where is Archie. I could not keep it in any more so through my tears I told them what I had to do and all became quiet and I left the room. I have been so tore up I decided that first time in my life I need to talk and so here I am blogging to the world of the pain I can not bare to let any one see.. I hate to let folks see me in pain or tell that I have it. I keep all of this in my guarded shield protected heart.. I am getting to old to keep all of this in so I will face all in the morning and pray my blogging will not make me drop of the deep end. I will walk a mile to the bus stop take the bus to work and get there late pick up my van after work and life will go on I want my pain to go away I feel like my heart is breaking and I am in a very dark place. I'm hoping for this to lift me from that place and prey it does not drag me deeper.


I have no one to blame but myself.......

I realize I have only myself to blame as it is just me and the damn dogs here at the house; you would have thought I would have learned from the day before, that they are hellions and not to be trusted as they trashed the place yesterday.   I did not learn because I  am at the computer in the basement and they are running a muck through the house doing hell knows what. I get upstairs and they ate my Easter Hyacinth and then one of them pood on the mess. I don't even see signs of the pink flowers anywhere I guess it will show up tomorrow, I just hope it is outside. The red dogs are leading the pack and my pack doesn't need help they are already Damn Dogs. It truly days like this I miss the kids.


Seriously! I was only gone 20 minutes...

I am at home alone with the Damn dogs and went to the basement was gone 20 minutes and they tore the place up. It's worse than having 10 two year old running around.

 Seriously get out of there I can see both of you.


When I die, Seriously?

I must say I never knew putting on a necklace could be so confusing. I have seen my daughter put her necklace on, behind her head and over her hair. Then she pulls her hair out. I was quite shocked the first time I saw her do it and quickly told her she would break the chain. Then I saw her do it again some time later and warned her she would break the chain.  I showed her how to put the necklace on and that seemed to be the end of it.  Now that was way over a year or so ago but have not seen her putting on any jewelry since. The other night we were talking again about who gets what when I die (yes it can be quite a conversation when it gets going). Now mostly I am just sarcastic and say things like I am leaving everything to the dogs and their care taker. That usually gets it really going. Jewelry got thrown in because my Mom loves jewelry and has lots. Now most of it is costume jewelry but she takes such good care of it you'd think it was the crown jewels. The girls know gold is a good thing but could not tell the difference between gold and tin spray painted gold. The conversation then turns to how do you know if something is real gold. My smart remark was if it's not gold you will turn green after you wear it for a while. That sent them all to the mirrors to check for green. Now no one was green so they all thought they had the real deal around there neck. I let them believe they were the proud owners of white gold and not surgical stainless steal. The oldest then runs to her room and brings back a necklace I gave her in secret a couple of years ago. It was a necklace I had with my birthstone in it which is green in color and her favorite color. I swore her to secrecy as I did not want the other to feel left out or hurt. She showed it to all and ask "is this real gold"? I said yes and then one said "Were did you get it"? She looked at me and said "I bought it", "NO, mom gave it to you". No I didn't! Mom do you think I am stupid? No, and stop saying that word, no one is stupid we may do some things that are stupid but no one is stupid. Then the oldest puts the necklace on behind her head and over her hair. I sucked in air and started in, I keep telling you that you'll break it if you keep doing that. Okay, how do I put it on? Then the show and tell starts, and it was not going very well when one of the girls yells, you are so unsmart. Now that brought the house down and then conversation got real unsmart as we started to laugh like a bunch of teenage girls.