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Tongue and Gums

As my pack gets older the dynamics of the pack are changing, personalities have even taken a hit. The constant revolving door of dogs that come through here keep them in constant state of evolution. I have even seen the fosters change. Now that the big dogs have come into the small dog world it has been a never ending cranky, bitchy, grouchy, snarling  and snapping bunch I have ever been around. Now there is no damage to the pack just my sanity has been sent down the toilet. The big dogs love to play, but they don’t understand that the little ones are not always up to the kind of play they do.  Gideon is always ready for a hell of good romp and the more the merrier for him. So he and the two big dogs are always romping, thundering through the house and as they go they piss off someone that now is trying to chase them off but it leads to, Hey you want to play too. Now there is a pack of dogs running through the house some are mad some are playing and some are chasing the others away. One dog does not like movement so as long as no one or nothing is moving he is happy but let someone leave their seat and he starts barking, Gideon and the big dogs are just noisy with their mouths open and making all the vocal sounds they can come up with. Now Chiquita is just an older pissy dog. I feel like I can relate to that, she just bitches at everyone. She does not bite she just growls: she sounds like she is gargling with her head in a bowl of water and making bubbles at the same time she is growling. Hell she even chokes herself when she does it. Just coming into the same room she is in or getting too close will get her started. Gertrude is that and a bag a chips. She struts herself around and no one tells her what to do. She is bossy and proud of it. One of the fosters is a frustrated fun size dog. He is all of maybe 7 lbs and his little mouth can’t bite nothing and the big dogs are too tall for him to grab a tail or ears. So he just shows his itty bitty teeth and snaps at the big dog and they pay him no attention at all. It’s if he does not exist at all. I think this frustrates him even more. Now the one that kills me is the foster that has two teeth. Now he cannot keep his tongue in his mouth so for him to bare his gums and growl his tongue falls out at the same time. I have no idea what he thinks he is going to do with the tongue and gums but he gets no respect either.
It takes a little time to get everyone settled down in the evening and that is not the problem its keeping them settled down. Between three kids and 9 dogs all trying to get a spot on the couch it is damn near impossible to keep them settled. Move a leg, wag a tail and the whole settle down thing goes out the window. The diehard dogs will not move a muscle or give up their spot on the couch.  They glue themselves to their spot and the other dogs just sit on them when they are trying to re plant themselves.  Then the bitching starts. The younger dogs don’t care it’s just something fun to do. The older dogs just don’t want no part of this constant reshuffling every few minutes. Once the big dogs get down the little one try to stand their ground and keep them off. All this does is make me crazy. The big dogs just stand there and look at the snapping frustrated little dog and the tongue and gums dog as if to say “ Are you kidding me what do you think you can do.” Then they just crawl up and sit on them. It is a none stop bitch session. I just want a noise switch to turn it off. Then they can bitch and I can have peace and quiet.  That being said I am sure my kids want one when I get bitchy.


Airbags or not...

Life in itself is a learning experience. There is never an end to our learning throughout life.  I on the other hand resist it as much as possible.  Most things I just hate to learn. I hate to put things together with written instructions; I hate to take the time to learn new programs on the computer and hate to learn new technology. It seems the older I get the less I want to learn; I truly do not know why. I still do not know how to check my voice mail on my cell phone.  I find new things that I can do with the old things I have had for a while. My van still surprises me after all these years. 

Now a couple of years ago I just learned that the passage seat tells the passage side airbag if there is a child in the seat and shuts itself of. Not that I have small children but I do have petite kids and we always made fun of a couple of the kids that the seat thought were kids and shut itself off.  I mostly have forgotten about this feature as I have never been in an accident that the airbags went off.  It is not on my mind what so ever. The girls have all grown just enough that the seat does not confuse them with a child any more.  There is a light on the dash board that lights up when the airbag is turned off.  It is always on so I don’t pay it any attention as the light is always on. I know shame on me. But in my own defense, the reason the light is always on is my purse that sits in the front seat if no one is riding with me.  The damn thing is so big and heavy the seat thinks there is a kid in it. So I know my purse will survive the crash and the airbag won’t kill it.  I am starting to get obsessed with how much something has to weight to turn the thing off. I find myself putting extra stuff in the seat along with my purse to see if the thing will come back on. I could read the manual but that would be way too easy….   Last weekend I had to make a dog transport run to TN, VA boarder to pick up a dog.  The dog is a big PIO/Xolo mix of some kind. Now one of the girls went with me to keep me awake so I could drive down and back in 27 hours.  Now with the loss of sleep that comes with these transports I get stupid sometimes.  All was going fine and about 2 AM I decide to take a nap in a rest area. My daughter chases the dogs out of the back seat and lies down. This sends one of the dogs to the front seat to curl up and sleep. It was the new guy. Now he could not curl enough to fit in the seat so his legs hung out all over the place. I found I could not sleep because I was totally fascinated with the huge dog sitting in the front passage seat next to me. He is the goofiest guy. He is so curled and contorted in the seat his head is straight up the back of the seat his four legs appear to be sticking out every direction and he is bent right in half, and to top it off he is snoring. After a while I realize that the kid in the back seat snoring and the huge dog all over the front seat snoring is making my nap impossible. My neck hurts my back is killing me and Hell, might as well drive no chance of falling asleep. I left the car walked the dogs and then use the facilities myself, the whole while the kids in the back is still snoring.  I get in the front and the big dog gets in the front seat again and when I start the car I notice for the first time the light is not on. So get out run around the van and drag the dog out of the front seat. Now nothing happened but I am unaware the car must be in drive for the bells and whistle to start. Now the kid is up and need to run to the potty. I put the dog back in the seat and jump in and move the van closer to the building, again I notice the light is still not on. Ok, is the thing broken all together, I run around the van and got the dog out of the front seat and still nothing. I put the dog in the back my daughter comes out and off we go. No light on so now I don’t know if it works or not. Note to self, get that thing checked.  Now yesterday I come to work and I am by myself, with my purse riding shotgun and I see the light on. Well this has me all intrigued, and I am not letting go of the issue, is the seat/airbag working or not. On my way home the light is on and my purse is sitting in the seat. I get inside the garage and put it park and the light goes out.  What the Hell! Do I have gremlins?  Now this is my clue to ride the wave of insanity while I figure this mystery out. I get out and head for the house and see the dogs running crazy in the back yard and the light bulb in my head come on, and I grab the big guy and go back to the car.  I put him in the front seat, and it was not as easy this time as he thinks we are have a fun game of keep away and high hurtles over the back seat.  I finally get him in and put the damn seat belt around him to keep him in the seat while I turn the van on. NO light. Now the light bulb goes on again in my beady brain and I put the thing in drive. NO light. Ok, now I am convinced it is broken. I reach over and push the seat belt button and the dog jumps the seat and goes to the back of the van. In one swift motion I grab my purse off my shoulder and flung it in the front seat so I could turn the van off and just as my fingers hit the key the light comes on. That’s it! Now I am plain crazy and will get to the bottom of this thing if it kills me. Of course the owner’s manual is in the drawer under the seat but NO! That is way too easy to get that thing and read up on the seat/airbag. I crawled in the back and brought the dog up front. Writing about doing this is so much easier than actually doing it. Then I go through the, put the dog in the seat, take the dog out of the seat, put the bag in the seat, and take the bag out. Put the van in drive put the van in park and so on and so on and so on. Now I am out of breath and sweating like an idiot and realize the dog is so big the seat thinks he is an adult and my bag is not big enough so it thinks it is a small child and turns the airbag off.  I grab the owner’s manual and go in the house and read up on the seat/airbag; could have saved myself a lot of time and frustration if I had done it in the first place. GAWD sometimes I worry myself.