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2012/03/20

Hate mail


So for the first time in my life last fall I  received hate mail from an unhappy neighbor.  The Damn Dogs have pushed the limits of sanity for my unhappy neighbor who shall remain anonymous to me.  The letter being very nicely written but to the point, made me glad winter was upon us so there will be no more greeting at the fence when Mom comes home or company comes. I have 5 dogs who bark at everything that moves I have one dog that circles with excitement, the more excited the more RPM she does.  As she reaches her higher speeds she starts to bark the faster she goes the more she barks.  So getting her to stop barking is not an easy task, since you have to stop the circling to make that happen. Then I have three dogs that join in because everyone else is barking.   And two that get so excited they turn on each other and start a fight.  Now then the other eight have to get a little of that action so now the noise level has reached its peak. By the time I get out of my car I have to run and get inside the fence yelling , STOP THAT BARKING,  THE DOGS ARE FIGHTING, GIRLS GET OUT HERE AND HELP. ETC, ETC, ETC.  I have to be careful of who I pick up first in the middle of the snarling, snapping pile of dogs.  Cabot who is on the bottom mostly can jump to should height in a single bond. He does not like to give up so he will jump to get the last bite of his intended aggressor but has gotten me a few times instead.   If I am lucky I can grab him first and the rest will stop if I am not I grab Willy and run, with Cabot close behind me as I am still yelling stop, stop, No ,NO, NOOOOOO with a few other chosen colorful words.  All of this chaos is in a 5 minute window of time but very intense and noisy.  I am sure I have more than one unhappy neighbor but as of yet only one has wrote me anonymous letter.  So all the kids now know they really can’t just open the door when mom comes home and let the Damn Dogs out.  Dogs are cordon off in different parts of the house and kept away from the door.  So I can at least get out of the car and walk to the house in peace.  The barking stops quickly and is kept in the house all is happy except the girls who get the daily call I am one block away. When winter did arrive life with the barking dogs was done inside, now the weather is warm and the dogs want to get out side but as soon as you open the door 4 of them act like they got shot out of a cannon and the barking is instant. Then the excitement starts and I have stampede  of barking, running and circling dogs in the back yard.  I stand there and scream STOP BARKING and start chasing them wagging my finger at them the whole time.  I'm not sure whats up with the wagging finger but its moving a mile a minute.  It has absolutely no effect on them what so ever.  Now if I get the Texas fly swatter out and smack the picnic table that will get results.  But I can never find the thing when I need it. The whole time this is going on I'm thinking about my unhappy neighbor that sent the letter last year and wonder if just hearing the barking dogs made her mad, I am sure adding a screaming old lady to the noise is just the end for her.  I have to rethink my summer when kids are home all day and they don't want to be bothered by the dogs while watching the Korean soap operas. I am sure animal control will show up and not another letter.

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