I think I am a fairly good driver and I’m totally comfortable getting in the car and driving 3,000 miles across this country. I have a good GPS system in my head so I look at the map and get my direction and off I go. Now the problem I have is reversing my driving direction to get myself out of where ever I have gotten myself to. So to go left they right I need to go right then left going back out. As I type this, it seems so easy, WTF is wrong with my brain. I swear to the heavens above I cannot get this in my head when I am driving. So I have to look at the map and get my new direction and not think about how I got where I am. My kids laugh at me and say “Mom I am the GPS now turn right, trust me”. Now that is another blog, trust.
Last night the Damn Dog House went mobile. I took the plunge and bought a Pop up camper. Now in my mind I think that someone there will teach me how to back it up. So the paper work is finished the trailer hitch put on the van and we are getting instructions on putting it up and how to use the appliances and the general care and storage of the unit. The man is giving me all the last minute details of how the hitch works the stabilizer bar putting it on taking it off, but all I can think of is backing the damn thing into a camping spot, hell just getting into my driveway. The man says get in I will drive you to the gate. I am getting nervous because now it is time to learn how to do this. We get to the gate he gets out and tells me to get in the driver seat, I comply and he shuts the door behind me and waves his hand good bye and says, “good luck and have a safe vacation” Now I have a huge WTF moment and said “aren’t you going to teach me how to tow this and back it up”. No we don’t do that only a driver and he is not here. He said “you will be fine just turn the wheel the opposite direction than you want the trailer to go: Don’t cut the corners to short and remember it’s on the back of you van, and walked away. I can’t even imagine the look on my face as my mood went from total shock to total pissed in the blink of an eye. The girls start in Mom what are you going to do? Mom, are you OK? Mom, can we go home now we’re hungry. Now I feel like I was just given a loaded gun and who knew how long before it would go off. I scanned my brain for the logic of this unbelievable got your money and don’t care about what happens, sales. Now I am an educated person and I can learn this. I am not sure how long I sat there before I put the van in drive and left.
The drive home was uneventful and not to awfully stressful, the whole way thinking I cannot learn how to back this thing into my drive; people drive 50 mph in front of my house on a highway. When we got home I just drove into the drive way and then was thanking my higher power for my huge drive. The practice started immediately using every inch of my yard and drive way trying to get this thing backed in so I can get my van out. One hour and so many forward backward moves that I was worrying that my transmission might poop on me. Now what I learned in that one hour is my brain is just the same as trying reverse directions. It SUCKS. Now let’s add the facts I am looking in a mirror that make me see things in reverse. Is there a name for what I have? Or am I just an idiot. Now dyslexia did come to mind, hoping to have a reason for my inability to reverse things in my mind; as if this was going to make me feel better to blame it on something other than my sucky brain.
Well my parting thoughts on this before I drank my glass of wine and went to bed are, GAWD how long will it take to train my old, half dead mind to do this. I know I can laugh at this, I just hope it is sooner than later.