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I had NO idea

I have called home many times today corrdinating with the kids getting ready for our camping trip and everytime I call all I hear is the dogs wrestling aound in the back ground of the phone to the point I have to tell the girls to shut the dogs up so I can talk to them. Seriously I now know how folks feel when the call my house. Damn Dogs


Liver spots gone.

I have noticed a change in my behavior. It has not become alarming yet but it has caught my attention. I am skirting 61 years of age and think I am a normal person. Think being the operative word here.  Now I am not sure how a 61 year old is supposed to act like as I have never been this age before.  I just know what my Mom and other older women were like at that age, now I am nothing like them but they never wore blue jeans and tee shirts. Hell my Grandmother had lavender hair. Now in the age of comfort and high tech everything, we can color our hair, get botox injections, we can buy almost anything to make ourselves look younger. I have no desire to spend time nor money on such things, as it does not add any quality to my life what so ever.  Thanks to my Dad I have male pattern baldness and what few hairs I have left I do not plan on aggravating them so they will fall out any soon than nature has planned for.  I have been on the weight roller coaster up and down throughout my life and know that this latest downhill slide maybe mine final. At this point I am not worried. The girls are quick to tell me how drab, plain and old I look. This does not have any impact on me either.  I ask them if I looked sexier would they love me more.  I am who I am if you like me you will like me no matter how cute I am. Being odor free and a good person is much more conducive to having friends than what I look like. Now this has no impact on them as peer pressure trumps what Mom says any day of the week. I always like to throw a spin on this conversation by ending it with “would you like a hot Mama that dates and goes out on the weekends to have fun, or an old, ugly, grumpy  one that takes you everywhere and makes sure your needs are met”?

With all of this I have now gotten two big dogs, one will be adopted but for the time he and the other is at my house and I learned that playing with them is not quite the same as playing with the Chinese Cresteds that run the place. They are both between 35 and 40 lbs. and when they jump on me and I am not prepared I get a close look at the placement of the laminate squares on my floor. I often end up on the floor wrestling with them; I must say I scream Uncle, way before they do, and sometimes three of four times. Sipan acts like he is eating corn and then applies just enough pressure to catch some flesh to pinch the ever loven hell out of me. Viringo thinks I am a chew toy or something, the more I fight back the rougher they get. Then before I know it I am acting like the big dog puppy that plays till he gets a big smack down lesson and quits the game with his tail between his legs and yipping all the way out of the play area. I don’t yip but I do scream and shout out profanity the whole time I am running.  I have been smacked in the head and face. I am covered in bruises of all ages and colors hell, some are on top of each other.  I have scratches up and down my arms and legs I had a big one across my forehead. It’s just as embarrassing to tell someone you got hit by your dogs, you still get the look of, ya right.  The kids don’t want anyone to see me because they think they will get blamed for beating me. You wish! Before the new girl came we were going to try a skype call and the girls did not want me there. “Ma she will think we are bad people”.  Now I love the dogs and end up at least once a day rough housing with them. I am sure I am instilling bad behavior in them and will hate myself later when I must correct the problem I started. I use to sit and look at my liver spots and worry how many I was getting. Who knew a couple of weeks with the big dogs and ya can’t even see them anymore.  


Sugar free hazelnut

Now one would think I have learned a thing or two about what to do and what NOT to do when it comes to the dogs. I do surprise myself as I never learn no matter how bad the dogs are. I hate shopping and it seem like I go many times a week to pick up food. Now if I would spend a little more time all at one time I could get the job done but It just gets harder to play bumper cars with the hordes of shoppers at the shopping center. So I find myself stopping by for one or two things and getting the hell out of Dodge. My time is running out to get things done and my weekends are filling up I get tired just looking at the calendar. So as I drag my behind home tonight and the kids start in about food. I tell them you guys go shopping and get enough food for the week. Now this is what they have all been waiting for. To buy all the food I will not buy for them. I am way too tired to care tonight so I tell them I will take them to the store and they can call me and I'll come back and get them, keep in mind this the and 8 minute round trip.
As always I allow myself to be fooled and I know better. What could possibly happen in 8 minutes???? I take a good look around the kitchen to make sure there is no food to entice them to the counter, as if they need a reason to be up on the counters. Out the door we go. I think the trip was only 7 minutes but by the time I got home they were all bouncing at the door like normal and then ran to the living room. That was the first red flag as they never leave me alone when I come home does not matter how long I have been gone. I get into the kitchen and find white powder all over the floor, further investigation quickly produce the source of the power, sugar free Hazelnut coffee creamer. I turn to the living room where everyone seems to be innocently doing nothing.
 It's not like I think they did not do something but they sure did look convincing, But someone has a rather black hairy face that was a huge give away.
Now back to the kitchen to clean up and found that the top was still on the little plastic container it came in, they had taken off the little plastic clip on poor spout cover. So how and the hell did it get all over the floor both sides of the island. I now can see them in my mind, swatting the damn thing as it spun around like spin the bottle and  spewing powder everywhere. Then the soccer sport kicked in and that little container just moved all over that floor spewing its contents from one end of the kitchen to the other. I am sure it must have been a free for all soccer game. I finished cleaning up and went back to the living room to get a better look at one carrying all the evidence around on his face.
So now the phone rings and its time to get the girls. I grabbed Gideon and went to pick up the girls. When they got in the car I told them they need to give their Damn Dog a bath..
So much for relax and finish my project I was wanting to finish tonight.


Dog day Saturday

Saturday was a busy day around here. We had the community garage sale that draws thousands of folks to our neighborhood. There is one the last Sat of April on the North side of the Highway and the first Monday of May on the South side of the highway. My drive way become a parking lot and getting in and out can get frustrating some times. So I just plan on these two Saturdays to keep the car in the garage and move around on foot.  I decided this year to use this as a great opportunity to socialize dogs. I leashed them up and off I go walking through the throngs of people, kids, strollers,cars and the occasional motorcycle. Kids on skate boards foot traffic, car traffic and two legged 4 legged and I have even seen birds on folks shoulders walking around nothing off limits. The new dogs from Peru, I am real sure they have not been exposed to the likes of the community garage sale so they were completely submerged.  I was highly impressed as they both did a great job. No barking no aggression.  They did get startled  many times with the noise that came to close behind them but settled down quickly.  I watched closely for adverse affects and saw nothing, they came home and we romped on the floor and they climbed the mountain peak of the back yard to watch the world moving ever so close to them as it went on with the business of shopping in the yards of the neighborhood. The girls all went rummaging through the yards of all the folks in the neighborhood finding all kinds of treasures to buy and bring home. I on the other hand find this behavior exhausting and am so glad I only have to be around it two time a year. I have friends who buys stuff to sell the next year at these things. I guess it is what moves our economy at the moment buy from your neighbor and sell to the next one. How in the world do you make a living out of this but some do.
I did enjoy the weather visiting with friends and neighbors and playing with the dogs. I believe for the first time since I have lived here I really did enjoy this Saturday, that most of the time sends me to my room to hide.