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2012/07/24

SHUT UP!!!



I had no idea how quiet it can be when there are only two people in the house.  The two youngest went to camp for two weeks the oldest is away at college and so it is just the middle girl and me, well the damn dogs are still here but it’s quite.  The dogs hang with me down stairs and a few of them are barkers so every time someone comes down stairs which is often to go to laundry room, ask me a question or to get extra supplies that are kept in there, one or more of them start in barking; this will get everyone else in on the barking fun.  So there is no peace and quiet with the kids around there mere presence moving around the house keeps the dogs riled. With one on the couch passed out and me in my bed passed out, we enjoyed an evening of uninterrupted unconsciousness.  We did nothing at all. The dogs ran rampant through the house, but they did not bark so we slept right through all the mess they created.  When I woke up at 10pm I didn’t even feel guilty.  I’m thinking that this could get habit forming. It was worth the mess we had to clean up.
I have 4 dogs that are nervous Nellies: Two bark at the girls walking around upstairs, hell they bark at them laughing upstairs, any sound sets them off. Two others are my protectors. If any one comes in the back door or leaves it they hear them and go off.  The girls coming down stairs is another trigger.  Now most of them can be shut up with a smack on the wall with the Texas fly swatter or repeating a hundred times SHUT UP!!!!!  Now depending on the bark they use, it can set the rest of the pack in hot barking pursuit from where ever they are in the house. By the time they get to where ever the original barker is and find out there is nothing there they shut up on their own.  Now I have one that cannot be quieted, that’s my Cabot he barks at any movement he sees or anticipates he will see. He has been this way since I rescued him. He loves everyone and will jump up to get petted or held by anyone.  He sees a hair brush and will come running to get his crest brushed. He can be in a room full of strangers and not make a sound.  Now let one of them stand up and he starts in: If they sit back down he stops.   I am the only one that can move around him without barking. He barks at the girls if they open a door and enter the room he in.  Now if they move around in his vision he will calm down but they just can’t enter through a door or come down the stairs. There are nights that I have to tell the girls to go to their rooms or keep their butts in a chair because one or all the dogs will not shut up and to keep from wiping out the entire damn dog house I have to get on the girls. I am not for debarking any dog but I have had my nights that I would even perform the surgery myself. So a night without barking I was in heaven and now I am looking forward to my next 12 nights of peace and quiet.

2012/07/23

Damn Dogs.......



There is not much left in the Damn Dog house that has not been violated with one or more of the dogs bodily fluids or solids, this includes the van and myself. Now I can personally say they have dripped on me dropped on me hurled and squirted on me.  They have hid it on me to be found later; they leave it right where I will walk in it or slip on it. They have hurled on me while I was sleeping, while watching a movie and driving 70 MPH down the highway. They have left many body fluids in my shoes and purse and on a new pair of pants.  My bed does get the worst of it, I really question its 20 year warranty. Now I have never had children of my own but have been told by many mothers of new born's that they have gone through similar situations with the baby. My new van got the largest quantity of body fluids during a dog transport. The dog I was transporting was fed hot dogs with ketchup just before he was put in my new van for a 600 mile trip to my house.  Now learning what had been done to the dog I knew my trip home was going to be a ruff one.  I tried to cover the back as best as I could but a few miles into the mountains and it went flying every were. After several stops to clean up and give the poor dog a brake, I thought it was over;”Thought" being the operative word here. He was saving one more special one just for me.  I don't know what set Chiquita off but she started with the other end and the more she did the slimmer it got. At one point I am trying to get into the rest stop but I had to stop NOW so I did right on the entrance ramp of the rest area.  After a few nose curling moments we did proceed to go up into the rest stop to walk every one and take a bath ourselves. We spent the better part of an hour there, everything being clean up walk and thinking we had seen the worst of it, I left the rest stop but as I started to pick up speed to merge into the speeding cars all hell broke loose literally in the back, I made it to the end of the exit ramp and pulled over again.  Now driving back words to the rest stop did not seem to be a good idea, so I cleaned the van and walked back to the rest stop to wash up. Things went well for an hour or so when the foster dog stared in again this time he got it all over me. After that it was just noise.  Really I had no idea a little 9lb dog could have that much shit in them but I have learned with my Chiquita it can be an endless supply especially if she gets upset or scared.
Over the weekend we played around with the camper to see if we could remember how to take it down as we only put it up one time and left it like that. I go inside and start folding things and putting them in the storage position when I reach up to take the tent bar down and there it was the dried out mummified remains of a turd left by one of the damn dogs and the fact that they were only in the camper for 5 minutes to take a picture left me with the flash backs of the new van and what happened the first week I had it.   I long for the days of nice things and nice dogs

I want a six pack.


When the kids first came they all go through the, I hate American food stage. This can last up to a year but in the mean time they find one thing they like and eat the devil out of that food. As there taste starts to change the amount of food does not.  Well we all know how quick a person can pack on the weight if they are nonstop eaters.  I have told them they will not be able to eat like this their whole life because our food is not the healthiest. We pump our animal full of all kinds of things and our food supply is developed to yield high quantities with low maintenance.  And most of us just have no way to buy meat and veggies that are not genetically or chemically altered in some way.  Our culture has change and we all want instant results and we try to make our days have more hours than is possible. This life style we have created for ourselves leave us with no time to eat healthy.  Now after all these years they are starting to see the results of the abundance of good tasting unhealthy food.  Now I cannot say I am any better, so yes I am getting a muffin top and hate it.  The girls are not that bad yet but the tight skin they were so used to is not so tight any more.  So they sit down and pinch their little guts and say things like, I need to work on my six pack, or Mom look at my fat. Now they are not any bigger than a minute but somewhere along the line the belly skin is not as tight as a drum anymore. I crack up every time I hear them talking about six packs.  I have not told them that girls don't want six packs that's a guy thing, they go for walks and do sit ups and whatever than can think of to have that flat drum tight tummy.  I don't say anything I don't want to discourage them but doing three sit ups and dropping to the floor in total exhaustion is not going to get them anywhere. I figure they will get it soon or later.  The whole teenage body image..... GAWD if you spend half as much time on your studies, as you do worrying about your dough boy bellies you would be Einstein.
A couple of nights ago we are all in the kitchen getting something to eat and one of the girls is sitting in the window sill. I was sitting on the bench counter next to her.  We are all yacking when I notice out of the corner of my eye, the girl in the window slouch forward until all ten of her fat cells are smooched together in the front of her like a wash cloth rolled up and place on her belly. Now I see her pinch it then take the side of her left hand and run it across her stomach making a crease in her little roll.  She now has two little hotdog size rolls. Again she is pinching and mashing on the little hotdog size rolls, when without hesitation she pulls out the waist band on her shorts and tucks them under the waistband as if to hide them. Now this is way more than I can take and I start laughing and asking" what the hell are doing"? Ma I hate this fat I want to have a six pack, I got my laughter under control and told her she look like a baby Michelin Man, but I still have not revealed the fact that a 6 pack is how they sell beer or a man’s abdomen. I will save that one for later.

2012/07/18

Some times it sucks to be at the bottom of the pile


Sometimes it is the most comforting thing to sit or lay down with a big pile of little naked dogs hugged up to you.  Winters are some of the best times to experience this.  Now telling the dog that we have seasonal snuggling is impossible even if they understood language they would not obey.  There is a difference in when and who gets over heated, when they get over heated they crawl out from under the blankets or just leave; it is never a mass exodus, often it is just one of them. When I get over heated I have to evict all of them.  Somehow only a few inches of skin that is now unheated just don’t get it.  I want every source of heat off me at one time.   I get Iron infusion’s twice a year and one of the side effects is sweating, needless to say it does not take much for the water works to turn on.  Add a cup of hot coffee, 10 dogs and a little humidity and I can melt down in seconds. If I can get my coffee down without the pile of dogs I can get through the experience just a little on the damp side.  The way I see it is if the normal body temp of a dog is 101 to 102.5 times 10 dogs the melt down is unbelievable now add a hot flash and it is catastrophic.  Since it is impossible to sit and drink my coffee and catch the news before work without the pile of dogs, I can only hope it does not give me a power surge that sends me to the shower again.  I am now learning that I need to just deal with this problem in the summer and just drink eat and watch news before the shower.  Sometimes it sucks to be at the bottom of the pile.

2012/07/17

How come the dogs don't like you anymore?


Saturday night Gertie was being a pain in the butt. She knew we had house guest and was not going to bed, the girls did not want her with them as we are all very tired from the long day of activities.  My house guest was planning on leaving early in the morning as they had a 9 hour drive.  So the girls took her to my room and they went to bed.  This determined little girl does not take NO lightly. Hell she does not take No at all.  She has a mind and it won't be change, redirected nor bribed.  She wants what she wants.  Now the fact that she knew there were others in a room she likes to sleep in, kept her determination focused and undeterred. I myself was very tired and at first I spent some time on the computer the whole time running up and grabbing the dog from the gate in hallway so she would not wake the others. I got out the Texas fly swatter and smack a couple times on the dresser leaving a big cracking echo in the basement guaranteed to wake the dead and she did not flinch and just hiked her butt over the gate in my room and ran like hell. I ran up got her and took her back to my room and put her on the bed and scolded her as if that might help in some way other than listening to myself talk. Before I got turn around and took two steps she bounded off the bed and ran to the gate and scurried over and was at the top of the stairs at the other gate before I could say "you damn dog get back here". Now yelling will have the same effect as her scratching on the gate at the top of the stairs or whining and barking at the gate; everyone is going to be woke up from the noise. I tried everything in my little bag of tricks to keep her in my room.  I ended up ready to kill her, just snap her little neck like a toothpick; so I gave up on my work and went to bed and held her.  This worked all of  10 minutes, as I started to drift off she must have felt my grip loosen and she would start to creep off, it would wake me; I grabbed her brought her back to an optimal gripping position and we would start all over. Now this went on for over an hour she even managed to get to the top of the stairs a couple of time because sleep was all I wanted and waking got harder every time.  I even took the hooligan boys out of the kennel and put her in there. All I got from that one was her screaming and hooligans began to get rowdy and jumping all over the other dogs and now everyone is pissed. I was at the end of my rope that was going to be hers soon; when she finally gave it up I think she could feel her impending death and fell asleep.  We got up early to see our guest off and then the girls left to visit friend. I settled in to catch up on a few things and even got a little nap in before evening and the return of the kids and nightly turmoil getting ready for the next day. I so wanted to sit and post picture and blog later in the evening, but the kids started in about they were going to bed and they did not want the dogs so they put them in my room, again.  Now I did have a few choice words to say about this, OH HELL NO, you made this dog this way you take her to your room I have no patients for this again tonight. You spoiled her, you deal with her.  Mom, how come the dogs don't like you anymore? I don't know and don't care as long as I have some peace and quiet tonight.  The kids left the dogs and first thing Gertrude did was shimmies up and over the gate and right behind her is the new foster. Now her shimmy was not as graceful as she had just learned it and I knew it was only a matter of a couple more times and she was going to be a pro. Now the hooligan boys are jumping on the gate and whining.  Alright you girls get those dogs and take them to your room before I kill all of you.  I got one more line wrote when they came back with the dogs and put them back in my room.  The older girl pipes up and says "Mom I’m going to make the dogs like you again" and then I heard the sound of something hitting the floor.  I looked up and chaos erupts in the middle of the floor as she starts throwing dog treats in my room. Well it’s hard to be mad when you’re laughing.  But Gertrude did sleep with her that night.

2012/07/16

Weekend with dogs

My love for the breed Chinese Crested led me to an Internet site called Chinese Crested Crush it is a form started for people that love this breed.  For a very long time most owners found it hard to learn about this breed as they were not common.  We circle the globe and learned from each other about the breed.  Because of this we have become a fairly close group.  Many come and go but there is a core group that have become friends and we started a couple years ago getting together at different places across the country and the ocean.  We know each other and all our dogs and the meet ups
presented a great opportunity to meet each other in person.  Over the weekend I had a small group of us got together at the Damn Dog house.  We bring our dogs together and enjoy the day with a lot of Chinese Crested in one place being their goofy selves.  We had 11 humans and 17 dogs it was an absolute wonderful time.  My damn dogs were in true form even my new foster was in the damn dog groove; she drank from my glass of water at least 4 different times sending me in the house for a fresh glass. For what ever reason she did not want the dogs water we had out for them, when my glass was not being guarded she was right there to shove her head in it.  She even got it when I had it in my hand but not watching her.


They stole hot dogs right from the plate, they stole napkins and tore them up in the yard, took every opportunity to get into things . The BBQ was a huge draw. the drip cup was missing so the meat drippings fell to the ground and the dogs had a field day licking that up. One licked and the grease dripped on her head as she licked.  She even went after the grill brush

 Every Chinese Crested has a different amount of hair, they are grouped into three groups, true hairless, hairy hairless and powder puff. Some have spots some don't they come in different color and different texture of hair some curly some straight.  My favorite part of the the dogs is the butt and tail.  Now I am not a sick puppy I just think they are cute, so to have this many at one time I had to take butt shots.


Some butts are skinny,some are fat, some are muscular, some are lower than others

Some have spots and some don't


We had butts under butts.

There were young butts and old butts

We had naked tails
Piglet tail along with the contents of high jacked water glass.
Fresh chicken kill

 
And at the end we had some mighty tired dogs.  


What can your Ta Ta's do?

I had a meet up at the house this weekend 11 humans and 16 dogs it was great now my friend from CA linked up with us through her Ipad so we could party together.   We all talked and passed the Ipad around so she could see all the people and dogs, at one point I am holding the Ipad and we are talking and she says to me what dog are you holding. Now I looked down at my lap and got the deer eyes in the headlight look on my face and said I am not holding any dog then the light bulb lit up and I realize she was looking at my shirt.  Everyone broke out in laughter.  I am not sure the exact words she used but it had something to do with the curvature under my shirt that gave the picture that three dementional look of a real dog.  Who knew my ta ta's could bring a picture of a dog to life.


2012/07/10

It's not crystal meth.



I had no idea that HALLS cough drops are so addicting.  They need regulating at my house, I mean it’s a cough drop not crystal meth, what the hell is wrong with my dogs and kids.  I take medication that dries my mouth out and to drink water helps but as soon as I swallow I am dry again. I discovered a while back when I had a cold that the Halls help relieve this for a longer period of time.  So I have them in the car, at work and at home.  The Halls at home disappears quick, for a long time I thought it was the dogs getting them all so now I try to keep them up high and away from them.  But the kids think they are candy and unfortunately I cannot put them up high enough to keep'em out of them.  So I have taken on this challenge of keeping my Halls hidden from the kids and the dogs.
Last night we went food shopping and I picked up two bags of the Halls one for work and one for home.  Getting the groceries and ourselves into the house with 9 overly excited dog that need to know what is in every bag; can and is a challenge.  Not to mention putting it all away before the little opportunist can get their chops on something, the grab and run technique is often profitable for them as they are so quick they can do it right in front of us and we never see it. Okay so much for the donuts for breakfast, ya Damn Dogs. They work as a team even though they think they are not. One grabs and runs with 8 plus in hot pursuit of the lucky dog, to stop now is to lose ones spoils of war. Last night, not being any different from any other groceries day, the girls are putting it away quickly and chasing dogs away all in one swift motion. As quick as a couple of bags are emptied they grab a couple more off the floor; away from the little basters with their heads buried deep in the middle of the bag.  In the commotion my Halls get dump on the kitchen table. Two of the girls are whispering and giggling, this behavior is catching my attention because I know they're up to something. I pretend to ignore them and go on with my task at hand.  The giggling is getting out of control so I said” What’s going you two” “Nothing”, of course what a silly question to ask, I have my eye on you two.  As the girls finish putting things away and I head for my room: The giggles have turned into outright laughing. I turned and said to them, “I have no idea what you two are up to but tonight is not a good night to piss me off, just a heads up” I then went to my room.  I can hear the rustling of a bag and the toenails of a dog, then a burst of laughter.  In between the laughter I hear, Cabot! And more side splitting laughter.  I yelled “What the Hell is going on up there”???????  One of the girls is laughing so hard she can’t even talk and is trying to tell me Cabot got the bag of Halls and opened it.  Now this is not my first Rodeo and I know the smell of deceit and plotting going on.  The bag is clearly much lighter than when it was purchased, Okay, I know you two think your cute getting the dog to open the bag so you can eat the Halls.  “Are you kidding me? Do I have STUPID wrote across my forehead.” Ya Damn Kids I’m not sure who is worse the kids or the dogs     

2012/07/09

It's called a dog door for a reason!

Kids and their insatiable curiosity. Now I admit I have a curious side to me but I am real sure I would not stick my body in a little hole.  I hear a lot of commotion out on the porch and look out the back door to see one of the girls stuck in the doggy door.  What the hell are you doing? Ma L's body is too big she can't get in the hole, but we can. Now before I could get the camera L wiggled out of the doggy door because she was stuck.  Now the other girls have to show me how they can get in the doggy door. Okay the dogs are all over this commotion, they where all trying to maneuver the steps and find out who was going in their door. I cannot look at the doggy door any more with out seeing them damn kids going through it and L getting stuck.

GAWD AWFUL

The heat is killing me......
The whole country is cooking and or burning in this dry hot spell we are experiencing; and to lose power for two days in this heat took a toll on me.  The kids had fun with the water hose and I will pay for that next month but for now it was our salvation as the heat in the house was 90 degrees and the heat outside was 100 plus. I truly know what bacon sizzling in a frying pan feels like. Misery loves company or so they say.  I could have been miserable with out the kids.  No Internet and no TV was worse for them than the heat.  I found it all to be most GAWD awful and there is nothing you can do but let the kids spray water on ya.......

2012/07/07

Love lose and fear



We as humans all possess the same emotions to what level of intensity we feel these emotions and how we act on them comes from our own personality's and experiences. We often stand in judgment of others who may not show their feelings as we think they should; I confess to doing the same.  The impressions we leave on others as we go though our emotional days and lives can make an impact that we may never know or understand, on others around us. I was never raised to be fearful. I was raised to believe in the good in people and to know that my instincts are my best guide. If the hair on my neck is up I am gone. It was that simple for me.  I am dumped on often and taken advantage of but I am still holding on to the simple faith in humans. It is a struggle to remain this way but I am now trying to teach this to the kids. Trust people but don't, what a mixed up message that is. I have no idea if I will ever get that message across to them but I still try.  I do not want them to live a life of fear of everything; they came to me that way I don't want them to live that way.  I know that my behavior is what they watch and fallow so I have to live the words I preach daily.  I want them to not be afraid to feel, but how you react to those feeling is what is important. I try to react to things that scare me or are so sad I am devastated by them in a calm almost emotionless state, and just talk about how I feel on the inside, reacting to logic rather than raw emotions. When in reality I just want to let go and let it flow.  My anger is the only one that I do not have total control of and my mouth will just open and spew till I am done.
This past week started out a little disappointing but not bad all in all. Then it took off like a freight train doing full speed and no breaks, out of control. It started with the unhappy ranting of the noise that surrounds the holiday that seem to never end and cause such distress with the dogs and the sleepless nights it cause me wears on my nerves. To losing my dog and not even knowing she was gone for almost 24 hours.  Trust me I have beat myself so bad for this I am not sure if I will ever get over this.  It started with the local fireworks that are held on the 3rd of July ever year. Now the traffic jam that is created by these festivities are so bad I will not drive we will walk the mile to the park and watch them or find a viewing spot along the highway to see them. I did not want to go this year because the heat and bug and at my age I have seen enough to last the rest of my life. I have a couple of dogs that do not do well with the noise and it is impossible now to shield them from it as it is all around us now.  I was so focused on my Toy Fox Terrier that went missing on a camping trip years ago when the unexpected fireworks started booming around us.  I worry about her she whines and cries as she paces the floor, she will try to hide in the house; it is most unsettling to watch, helpless to do anything to relieve it. And then come dinner time the 4th to find that my Chiquita is missing. I still do not know exactly what happened but the closes I can come is I let the dogs out at dark the fireworks had started and the noise was already a pain.  I thought all the dogs had come back in when I went to bed. The girls came in around 11:30 and the dogs barked but all, I thought were gated inside my room.  The next day we went on with our days not counting or paying any attention to the fact that she was not in the house. Later that afternoon when we fed the dogs she was no were to be found. I do not have children of my own but the foster kids and dogs in my charge are as important and loved as if they were my own flesh and blood. The numbing fear I felt and disbelief that she would ever leave me hit me like a ton of bricks. I went through such a gambit of emotions that I became physically sick.  I remained calm and emotionless on the outside so as to not scare the kids but quickly we jumped into action. We split up and went in four directions looking for her, even though I knew we were in fact looking for her body. Chiquita knew the area and would know how to get home.  I knew if we did in fact find her, it would be her body.  I pushed back the tears and marched on looking.  I have no idea how long we spent but knew it seemed like eternity. I came back home and started calling every shelter and vet in my local area leaving messages as it is a holiday and no one is in the offices to answer phones. My mind was trying to logically put some order in my thoughts so I would be able to stay calm. Knowing she must be with somebody or someone took her.  She was not outside in the heat that is pressing 100 degrees not counting heat index. I had to hold on till Thursday.  I now am so physically ill that I went to bed and took a pill so I could get through this mess I believe to be my entire fault.   I heard the wind and rain outside and found it soothing and went back to sleep only to hear my door bell at around 3:30 am or so.  I jumped up thinking someone has found my dog. As I ran up the stairs in a sleepy stupor I got to the top of the stairs and saw red flashing lights reflecting off the garage, trees and the camper.  I ran out the back door trying to find the sours of the lights: as I looked down the drive way I saw many police cars and fire tucks surrounded with many scurrying emergency workers. I took off running with full throttle fear racing though me.  I got to the front of the house to see a fireman talking through a crack in my front door, with my kids.  The fire man asked if I lived in this house and I said" yes I just came out the back door".  We were instructed to stay in the house because our tree had fallen in the storm that had just went through and the live power lines are down and in the street. I went inside and surveyed the situation taking place in my front yard.  Indeed my tree in the front that was sickly had broken off and fell on the lines.  It ripped the power box and lines from my house and left us without power.  The live line lay across my yard and the highway with fire trucks and police cars blocking both directions and yellow crime tape strung up around the area. How the Hell could I sleep through this and my kids heard it all and never woke me.  They just stayed in their beds knowing I was taking care of whatever shook them from their sleep. Now I have another mishap on my watch that I let get by me because I let my guard down and allowed myself to embraces my fear of losing my dog and made myself sick and took to the bed to sleep away all that was making me feel this way. For two hours as I watched the scene outside my window worrying about my dog waiting for the power company to come fix it; I beat the hell out of myself while I waited.  I am just glad that they are not physical wounds I inflicted on myself as I would be a bloody pulp. By 6:30 the power company came got the wire off the ground and told me that I had to fix the power connections on my house before I could have my power restored. I called and left a message at my insurance company and took the cell phone and went back to bed and prayed this was the end of whatever lesson I must learn and that my cell had enough charge to get me through this. My relief started when the phone woke me at 9am or so with a man’s voice saying "you don't know me but I think I have your dog".  I kept the tears back long enough to finish the call with this man who found my Chiquita one mile from home at 9 am the fourth of July.  He told me he called the shelter when he got to work that morning and they gave him my phone number.  He left work went home and picked up Chiquita and she was back in my arms before 10 am. Now there are no words to explain the relief I felt that she was OK after two nights of being gone. At about one minute away from 60 years old I have had this happen two times and never want to experience this again in my life time. I cannot allow myself to think about, the what if's and others that this has happened to because I will not allow myself the leisure of wallowing  in my fear till I have lost myself and the ability to function in times of uncontrollable chaos.


2012/07/02

Damn kids



Now that the shock of buying a tent camper has settled down I have been going over and over in my head trying to remember everything in hopes of helping myself,  but the truth of the matter is the only thing I can remember is two board out of their skull kids.  I was told to be prepared for a 5 hour appointment.  As they had to put trailer hitch on the van, teach us how to put it up and down, sign papers and in general just sit in the sales office.  I told the kids many times we will be there 5 hours so don’t bug me about going home or any other thing while we wait; and yes you must go to learn the operation of the camper along with me.  The first two hour sucked the kids went shopping in the parts department ate free popcorn and made a mess and looked at magazines.  I opted to just sit and watch people.  At one point I am really interested a couple looking at a camper.  Now he was vertically challenged and his wife was an inch taller. Their problem was the size of camper they were buying was the size of the coliseum and they were trying to fit the seat and peddles to his size.  I was in total amazement and watch with great interest as they worked with the mechanics on a solution to their problem.  The girls sat on the longer sofa bench and was picking at each other putting their feet on each other and throwing popcorn and acting like two 3 year olds. I look over to scold them and tell them to knock it off and one of them is rubbing a magazine all over her chest and arms.  What the hell are you doing?????
“Mom its perfume”,    “What’s perfume? You look ridiculous rubbing a magazine all over yourself”.  She then proceeds to show me the little strip of paper folded over on the edge of the page advertising the fragrance.  Are you kidding me, do you stink or something? It’s made to smell not rub your body with it,” “Will you two knock it off and clean up the mess you made, your mom does not work here”. About that time we are called back for some training. And hour and half goes by and then back to our waiting room.  Then we went to financing dept. to sign papers. Now they’re stuck in the corner and can’t move around so one goes to sleep, at first she lays her head on the desk and then she sits back and puts her feet on her sister and her lights went out.  The mechanic came back with a problem and we had to leave the office and head out to the shop.  As he is showing me the hitch and what the problem was, the youngest came up and stood next to me. I almost chocked as she had drew pictures all over her leg with an ink pen. When we left the shop I started  bitching about her drawing on herself and she looked at me like I was crazy. She said “What, I didn’t do anything”. “Then what do you call that on your leg”.   Then the other one starts to laugh.  She confesses to tattooing her while she was sleeping in the office sitting right next to me.  I never saw her and its half way up the damn leg. Now I would have laughed to if I was not on my last nerve and getting, waiting room grouchies.  Now the one with the ink tattoos is mad and trying to rub some of it off as we walk back to the office.  As we sat back in the office now they are taking scotch tape and sticking it on the tattoos and when they pull it off some of the ink comes with it. Then roll the tape in little balls and throw it at each other. GAWD, it was an endless wait with two board kids. I believe I have learned my lesson; board kids can drive a person right off the cliff of sanity.