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Damn Dogs.......

There is not much left in the Damn Dog house that has not been violated with one or more of the dogs bodily fluids or solids, this includes the van and myself. Now I can personally say they have dripped on me dropped on me hurled and squirted on me.  They have hid it on me to be found later; they leave it right where I will walk in it or slip on it. They have hurled on me while I was sleeping, while watching a movie and driving 70 MPH down the highway. They have left many body fluids in my shoes and purse and on a new pair of pants.  My bed does get the worst of it, I really question its 20 year warranty. Now I have never had children of my own but have been told by many mothers of new born's that they have gone through similar situations with the baby. My new van got the largest quantity of body fluids during a dog transport. The dog I was transporting was fed hot dogs with ketchup just before he was put in my new van for a 600 mile trip to my house.  Now learning what had been done to the dog I knew my trip home was going to be a ruff one.  I tried to cover the back as best as I could but a few miles into the mountains and it went flying every were. After several stops to clean up and give the poor dog a brake, I thought it was over;”Thought" being the operative word here. He was saving one more special one just for me.  I don't know what set Chiquita off but she started with the other end and the more she did the slimmer it got. At one point I am trying to get into the rest stop but I had to stop NOW so I did right on the entrance ramp of the rest area.  After a few nose curling moments we did proceed to go up into the rest stop to walk every one and take a bath ourselves. We spent the better part of an hour there, everything being clean up walk and thinking we had seen the worst of it, I left the rest stop but as I started to pick up speed to merge into the speeding cars all hell broke loose literally in the back, I made it to the end of the exit ramp and pulled over again.  Now driving back words to the rest stop did not seem to be a good idea, so I cleaned the van and walked back to the rest stop to wash up. Things went well for an hour or so when the foster dog stared in again this time he got it all over me. After that it was just noise.  Really I had no idea a little 9lb dog could have that much shit in them but I have learned with my Chiquita it can be an endless supply especially if she gets upset or scared.
Over the weekend we played around with the camper to see if we could remember how to take it down as we only put it up one time and left it like that. I go inside and start folding things and putting them in the storage position when I reach up to take the tent bar down and there it was the dried out mummified remains of a turd left by one of the damn dogs and the fact that they were only in the camper for 5 minutes to take a picture left me with the flash backs of the new van and what happened the first week I had it.   I long for the days of nice things and nice dogs

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