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2012/04/17

Robbed of my pleasure....

We all know about the Pied Piper leading away the rats as he played his magical flute.  Now I confess to be something of a Pied Piper, but I have hairless dogs that follow me. I cannot get up and move without all the dogs following me to where ever I am going; even if I just go to the kitchen to get a drink of water.  There they are jumping around me and as I am trying not to step on one, there is another behind me to trip me. The longer the distance I travel in the house or outside a couple or three feel that it is a race to get to where I am going before me. The basement is treacherous as they turn the stairway into the Indy 500 race.  When they pass me or try to get between my legs as I am descending, it always causes me a moment of fear that I will get a broken something if they succeed in tripping me. One time all three passed me at the same time in the stair well, I grabbed the rail as my body went down and I slammed into the wall. Now my arm was a little soar for a couple days but no damage that time.  I feel my luck running out and it is just a matter of time before they send me down the stair doing a header all the way. Now last night I got them, purely by accident.  I got one step down and remember I needed my glasses and made an abrupt stop and turn:  they were so close on my heal and moving at the speed of light, they both went ass over tea kettle down the stairs, the third one Miss Gertie was able to stop as she ran into me. As I watch the boys in a massive ball of flesh and legs rolling down, it all seemed to be in slow motion as my mind starts to play the dead dog visual in my head.  They bowled over the baby gate at the bottom and went straight through to the storage room.  I sucked in air as I started to panic and then they jumped up shook it off and ran hell bent into my room. I can say without a doubt that sucking in air at the same time you break out in laughter will cause all kinds of chocking. Between the shock and panic of them rolling down the stairs I was robbed of the pleasure, of finally getting the little bastards before they kill me, so I excepted the next best thing RERUNS that kept running through my mind all night.

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