this is an old post I thought I lost
Well I just got a reality check at work. My behavior is at a considerable lower age level than I am. As I am calmly arguing with a co-work I could feel my blood pressure on the rise I said 'I don’t care to talk about this issues anymore" well the conversation kept going and so did my blood pressure to the point I wanted to say something more than I don’t want to talk about it. Out of pure frustration I looked at her and stuck my tongue out. Without missing a breath she said “Oh real mature Sue”. So now the argument is over but I am left with a red face and the question of why I would do that. As I look back at when the kids started coming I guess I can see my behavior deteriorate over the years. When I argue with my kids my level of maturity is right down there with theirs. I know that arguing with kids from different cultural backgrounds and languages has left me frustrated, so to get my point across I would use any means I could, to get maximum shock effect out of them. Using logic and outside voices just does not get it. The 4 girls that have been with me for over three years have gotten use to me doing this and now just say” MOM STOP”. But my immature behavior still works for shock effect, so as to gain control over a seemingly lost argument. I now use it as my master weapon against massive quantities of Estrogen running ramped through the house. Although they will use it against me it is one of the prices I have to pay. Such as the time I had them all lined up on the couch hollering about, who left the cosmetic bag outside. When the older one says I did. Now I am shocked because the common answer to this line of questioning is “I don’t know” I responded “Who are you and what did you do with my daughter”? She sat straight up and said “Well I really did not do it but I said I did”, so you would shut up. It worked. Or the time last winter as one of the girls is just dragging her feet and it’s time for the bus. I was hounding her to pick it up because I was not taking her to school. Her speed did not change and I hollered out at her “This is really shitty weather to have to walk to school in”. As she saunters out the door she comes back with “I know sweetie, I know, I need the exercise. Got me there. We have even had arguments that I had to use extreme shock on them. One such argument was over going out to eat. The newest girl is a difficult eater to say the least. She only wants her food, sweets or chicken. This really narrows the place we can eat at. I came up with the master plan to get the other girls mad at her and she would break down and stop, with the, I don’t like that. The girls cooked up the schema to get me to take them out to eat at the Chinese buffet. It started out with one girl asking then another and then another trying to break me down. They know I will give in after a fashion. But I had to hang tough I was trying to make a statement and get this girl to eat better. I said no because L. will not eat that food and I am not spending money on food to have it thrown out. Ok then let’s go here, “NO” what about this place no she won’t eat that either. Finally she said "I will just stay home". Now the other girls thought they had just won the LOTO, ya Mom let’s leave her home. No we eat as a family or no one goes. I left the room now that my plan was in action. Well they started in again following me through the house badgering me about leave L. at home and let’s go. We have now been at it for close to an hour. I am hungry and have no desire to cook. I was starting to weaken I could not hold out anymore, they had me and they knew it. But at the last minute I got my presence of mind back and ran into the frig and yanked out the wine bottle ripped the cork out and tipped it up and guzzled. I heard one exclaim to the others “Well! Now she won’t go she drank wine” What do you want to eat?