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2011/11/30

There's no Earthquake in East Lansing!


We just watch the movie 2012 again and it brought back the memories of spring last year.  The first time we watched it the girls were on the edge of their seat as California slipped into the ocean and the train came out of the side of the gaping hole that was being made by the quake, and the plain flew between falling sky scrapers.  Now as entertainment goes it does get the adrenalin flowing even though most of us know it is a movie purely a fiction of someones imagination. The girls are typical teenagers and they are screaming as if they were in the movie itself.  The whole time asking is this real, is this true and so on.  I must have told them a dozen or so times, no it is a movie, no this is not going to happen, It's a movie.   So for days they commented on the movie and ask a hundred questions about earthquakes. I am not a science major or the like of anyone who can explain to the girls when an earthquakes happens or what makes it happen.  I tried many approaches to the subject but never really felt like they understood. The questions went to the wayside as some other thing took there attention.  A month or so later I am at lunch and the sky is getting ugly  so I thought I better high tale it back to work and call the girls, who are at home on Spring break, to make sure they are OK. I was getting out of the car and about to enter  my work place when I hear the Tornado warning system in the city go off.  I took a quick look around to see if there was a touch town close by and then headed into work.  I no soon took a few steps past the door when the tornado alert went off at work. I was quickly ushered into the ladies bathroom as it is the tornado shelter in my work place. I was getting worried because I can not call home and I am not sure where the tornado is at or if it has touch down some where. We spent 15 minutes in there now as a work place bathroom goes its not bad with one or two ladies in there but lets try 20 people crammed into the stales some one was sitting in the sink and standing on the toilets as there was no more floor space to stand on,  we were the proverbial sardines in can. I am not claustrophobic but I would rather take my chances with the tornado next time.  So when I get out of the bathroom and catch my breath I heard some one say there was a touch down South of us. I took off to get to my desk to call home One of the girls answers the phone and is just hanging out watching a movie. I said "did you here the warning sound like I showed you at the old house".  No Ma what sound. Now am trying to make the sound of the tornado warning with no luck what so ever. I can't even spell the sounds that were coming out of me. "Why" she says,  Because there was a tornado South of us and I am worried about you guys. EARTHQUAKE! she yelled.  What earthquake? I am talking about a tornado. Where Ma? South of us. Is that by East Lansing? No! East Lansing is East of us. South is a different direction. "OH" she says When did East Lansing have a Earthquake,  I said," there is No earthquake its a tornado" Whats a Tornado? Now how the hell am I going to explain this, to a kid who just learned what an earthquake is by watching a movie. Language is a hard barrier to get through on a phone because you need do a lot of hand and body movement when trying to explain things.  My frustration is growing ever faster  as my attempt to explain, was not going any where. She then says is South by East Lansing? No! South is South, East is a different direction. What is direction? OMG I am just calling to tell you if you hear the tornado warning again go to my room and stay there till I call. Ya Ma can I see the earthquake in East Lansing on the TV.  There is NO Earthquake IN EAST LANSING. IT'S A TORNADO.  As I am hanging up I hear her talking to the other girls. A few minutes later the phone rings and it is one of the other girls. Mom can we go see the earthquake in East Lansing when you get home. THERE IS NO EARTHQUAKE IN EAST LANSING!!!!, Its a tornado and it is South of us. So now I can hear here yelling at the first girl for giving here the wrong information and she got yelled at.  I just hung up the phone,  the receiver never quite made the phone cradle when the next call came.  This time its the older sister that works at the same company I do but a different department.  She says "Mom can I go with you to see the Earthquake in East Lansing".  What the HELL!!!!, THERE IS NO EARTHQUAKE IN EAST LANSING, ITS A TORNADO.  Holly cow did your sister tell the whole country that there is an earthquake in East Lansing.  Its a tornado and no there is nothing to see. What is a tornado?  Holly shit! I yelled  "I am going to rent the movie Twister tonight". as I hung up the phone.

Damn Dog vacation is over and I'm alive.....

 This is an old post from this past summer that I wrote in a  form I am in.  I thought I would post it here also.

Well we are back from our Damn Dog vacation. 7dog 4kids and camping supplies for a week in a minivan. We went to Beaver Island in Lake Michigan. It is a little over 2 hours on the ferry to get there. I was a little worried about taking all the dogs on the ferry because we are only allow on the top deck out side with the dogs. They done great most folks just watched us march on the boat with dogs in tow, with a wide range of remarks as we walk by. I spent most of my time explaining what kind of dogs they were or why I would take so many camping. LOL My new girl has not been tent camping before so was not sure how it all took place. All was fine till the second morning when the temp dropped to the low 50's and it was raining. Wind blowing and no one wanted to get up out of there warm sleeping bags. Unlike the humans who can simply sleep away the need to pee the dogs could not. My tent has a doggy door , I am sure that is not what the little zippered door on the floor is for but it's what we use it for. anyway one by one they went out to pee, the ones that I knew would come right back I just let them go. the ones that I did not trust I put the leash on them and stuck my arm out the door while keeping the rest of myself warm and snug as a bug. All went well or so I thought..... Willy the foster dog did not pee he just went out got wet and came back in to get warm again. He was restless and went from one sleeping bag to another while the human in the bag yell " lay down Willy" He ended up in my new daughters bag in the back of the tent when he finally let the water works go. She yelled Mom he is peeing on my bag. I said pick him up and put him out. Well she picked him up and his bladder was mighty full and he kept right on pee as she held him in her out reach arms and passed him back and forth in front of herself and yelled. The others all got a golden shower, heads, blankets sleeping bag and pillow all got it. When the golden shower continued she turned him upside down and held him while she tried to get up and it just kept coming as it arced over his belly and ran down his chest dripping back on her, with a look of OMGawd I can't stop on Willy's face. The laughter and screaming could be heard for miles. I laughed till I thought I would pee, I made it out of the tent and through the woods to the out house in the nick of time. As I went to open the door I realize I had all the dog following me like the pied piper. If I went in and left them in the cold rain who knows where they would go or end up as a coyote snack. So I am doing the pee pee dance as I am trying to get all of them in the out house. Well as I am sitting there feeling relief I looked down and saw all those little faces staring back at me and the mental image of what this must look like set me off into another bout of manic laughter. When I got back to camp the girls were spraying their hair with fabreze to get the pee smell out of there hair and blankets. I started to laugh again when one said Mom what were you doing in the bathroom with all the dogs we could here you all the way back here. I physically got sick from laughing so much. Needless to say that was the end of sleeping in on a cold morning in a tent.


2011/11/28

Half and Half shooters

 The kids and I found a quaint little restaurant to eat at.  There was lots of folks there eating and had all the charm of a country kitchen.  They had little Lazy Susan's in the middle of all the tables filled with condiment of all kinds.  Now this is something of great interest for the kids and the playing began. They spun it to the right, they spun it to the left, they spun it till condiments started flying off. The kids was having a good old time. I finally intervened and told them to knock it off and just sit still. The wait was long for the waitress, she and two others were the only ones there.  At last she came and gave us menu's, took our drink order and off she went.  I was looking forward to a hot cup of coffee and could not wait till she came back with the drinks. She served the drinks and told us she would be right back to take our order. I reach for a container of cream for my coffee and found the bowl was empty. I thought I had seen some earlier but really had not taken an inventory of our condiment caddy. I just sat and waited till I saw the waitress again which was about 15 minutes later.  I was anxious for coffee and was put out by the fact that the caddy did not have any.  I interrupted her as she was serving another tables dinner, I asked if she would bring me some cream, when I got the LOOK.  Now I know the LOOK when I see it, I have used it on my kids many of times.   I sat there not knowing if I should call her out on this or just ignore it. I chose to let it go but was mad all the same.  She came back with the cream picked up the empty bowl and dropped a full one in its place then took our order and off again she went.  Now we still have not gotten our dinner yet when someone comes around pouring refills for everyone. I was eager to get a second cup as it was fairly good coffee. I reached for a container of cream to find only one left. In my disbelief I said "What happen to all the cream"?    One of the girls pips up and said "we drank it". What? Ya Mom it taste good. I can not see any evidence that any cream existed other than the two I use.  How did you drink it and I did not see you.  Ya Mom they are really small and you can drink-em fast. I stood up and looked over the Lazy Susan and saw all the little container lining the side of the condiment caddy. My reality set in quick as to the LOOK the waitress gave me. My visuals kicked in and all I could envision was the two of them sitting there slamming back Half and Half shooter and I fell out Laughing to the point of embarrassment.  Now I was left with one cream and no way I was asking for more. 

2011/11/26

Death of the sightseers


I have to say that sightseeing with out the dogs does seem to take more energy.  Making sure they are not pooping or peeing in places that are not acceptable, putting leashes on taking leashes off.  Making sure to stop for water and stop for pee. Trying to eat in the car without loosing your food or fingers. Locking all food away or clean up later. The first one back to the car cleans up poop even if its in someone else seat. And sneaking them all in hotels is a real time killer.These things can drag down a persons energy and mood very quickly.  But going on this trip with 6 kids and no dogs has changed my way of thinking.  Getting all 6 out of two room and the front door of a hotel is a challenge all of its own.  Not to mentions getting them all on a subway with out one getting slammed in the door and dragged along the rails is also challenging. Drinking fountains, taking pictures, and lets not forget ordering foods are real deal breaker. I founds myself just standing in one place snapping a pic and yelling next while throngs of people waited there turn at a photo in front of something or another. Then at every turn I would have to look back and see who were taking the next set of glamor shots, I mean come on, how many posses can you take in front of a rock..... Then we would all have to wait for that photo shoot to finish then take ten steps and someone else started there photo shoot. My GAWD it's one block to the museum I can't believe it has taken an hour, we'll never see the White house. Group photos were nice and quick but you had to use every ones camera, that would be 7 shots.  Now the combination photos were killers.  That is where two girls want there picture together but with both of their camera's now another one wants in so we now have a third set of photos and another camera.  This is where it gets tricky, the third girl now wants a photo of her and the first girl but not with the second girl so we start again, and heaven for bid if they all want in the same photo but with different girls standing next to them we could be there for hours.  Drinking fountains and bathrooms could not be passed by with out one of them starting the total dismantling of the group.  Getting them started again was such a massive undertaking that I would be drained mentality and physically. I caught myself hyperventalating at the sight of a bathroom or water fountain. As I am thinking I was getting to old to do this, one of the girls says, I'm tired !  Then another, and yet another. Well I am starting to see a little payback coming my way, so I said lets go to Arlington and see the tomb of the unknown soldier and Kennedy's grave.  We can ride the bus there.  Well ride was the operative word that got them all going. The bus dropped us off at the welcome center and I was giving my tour narrative as we walked through the center and out the back to the cemetery when they saw the first hill.  Now I wish I could have been sneaking around in their  minds to know what they were think at that moment, because the looks on there faces was priceless.  For those who have not been there it is full of hills and you have to walk to get around in the cemetery. We made it to Kennedy's grave and I could see the fatigue taking over in them.  On the way to the tomb they started dropping like fly's.. Yes! I laughed you young chicks can't hold a candle to us old gals they don't make'm   like us any more. I didn't let up as they dropped along the road side, I'll be back this way to pick you up, don't go any where, Then my wicked laugh kicked in to overdrive pissing them right off.  I made it to the tomb with only three girls in tow, laughing all the way.  Now it is getting late and the last bus back is at 5pm and we were instructed to be on time or it was a long walk back. So as I approached each fallen girl and yell out "lets move it we have a bus to catch hustle hustle".  I guess it was a little over kill on my part but a parent needs to get there licks in when they can.  I reveled in their agony not giving one thought to the next day when Hell hath no furry as a beat up old body did.  The ride back on the subway left most of them needing a wake up call to get off, I hung tight not letting them see me in agony because I need to show them young girls what sightseeing with out a car was like, they were to soft and needed some toughing up. Hell did not wait till morning it started in ASAP when I hit the door of the room. The spasms and muscle cramps were about to be my death when they eased just enough to allow me to sleep.  We were all limping and complaining the next day as we walked the entire National Mall stopping at as many Smithsonian's as we could manage to run through.  As we were into quantity not quality.  Then I said if you all want to go on to the capital go with out me. I will meet you all back at the Old Post office.  There was a couple of takers but the rest was with me hobbling all the way.  And I was not laughing any more. By the time we got to the Old Post office we all just dropped and I even fell asleep waiting for the girls to get back.  Tonight we all wanted to go back early no running around China town tonight. I am not even sure I want to get into the car tomorrow just put my butt on a plane because they don't make'm like me any more.

2011/11/25

Mom you owe me underwear.


Over the past few years there have been a few undies lost to dogs as chew toys.  Now the girls are good about not leaving cloths lay around but the dogs are masters at sneaking into the laundry room every time the door is opened.  It is usually the grab and run ploy, because we never see them but we always find the evidence, in the back yard on the picnic table behind the couch all the usual places.   Recently we took in three new foster dogs that all have  pantie fetishes.  One of the girls brings her chewed up panties to the kitchen and demands that I buy her more because the dogs have eaten all of hers. I said, "no I don't owe you the dogs do I did not eat them.  Ya Mom but they're your dogs.  Got a point there but I am not buy new undies keep the door shut down stairs.  Now a couple pair were so chewed that the center panel was totally gone. Just a little fabric hanging from an elastic waistband.  But I did not budge on buy new ones. After a fashion  the argument of who owed who new undies went to the way side and I totally forgot about them.
Its vacation time with out the dogs this year so I wanted to stay in a nice hotel while in DC.  I spent a lot of time bidding on Price line looking for a cheap 4 star hotel,. I was about to give up and look for Motel 6 when my bid went through.  All I can say is the hotel is one of the high lights of this trip. I have to keep reminding the girls we are not rich and don't get use to this kind of extravagance. The girls are all in the fairy tale land of look at me I am rich. All I hear is we can't wear this or that because we won't look rich.  Holly Cow Batman your not so get over it.  Now the panties are coming back to haunt me, As one of the girls come out of the bathroom wearing a pair of undies that looks like they were shot with a shot gun using buck shot, and says MOM! How can I wear these underpants in this hotel. The fact that she was serious was as funny as the pants on her looked. I said"Don't get in an accident and no one will know."

Don't ask for the key to the bathroom....

Our morning started with out incident, we were on track leaving the hotel by 8AM was shocking, so now I think this is a good omen.. The girls were about to enter the subway and have there first new experience of the day. When a case of nervous nerve hit all at the same time.What happens if I can't breath down there? What happens if the trains crash?  What happen if there is an earthquake while we are on the train?  By the time I got them down stairs and we spent 20 min trying to buy tickets they had all calmed down till we walked around the corner and the hug 2or 3 story escalator stood looming at them.  There was so much air sucking going on that it was hard to tell if it was the girls or the trains.  It took a little coaxing to get them going down the thing but then they all grabbed on to me like I was a support pillar in their fear based nonsensical behavior they almost dragged me down like the lionesses prey.  I was about to beat them all to the bottom when I caught myself and hung on for dear life. Ok now my good omen seems to be fading a little but still not all that bad. The train ride went well after that no problems. We have tickets for a Hop-on-Hop-off tour bus and we are on our way to get on when the pain of no breakfast started calling me. Mom we're hungry we want to eat before we start.  I was hoping to find something along the way but oh well let see what we can find around here.  Now I can't say I would recommend Ollie's Trolly but it looked like it fit my pocket book and they were open for breakfast.  The folks running the place added one more language to our mix ordering for 7 started to get frustrating for them and all the other customers waiting to place their orders.  We are truly the people you hate to get behind in any line. Not only did we drive them nuts they got our order mixed up and now the wining has started.  Again they must have never cooked breakfast for 7 at the same time because they doled it out two plates at a time then screwed it up.Breakfast in a, put your order in at the counter and when its done they call out your order number and go back to the counter to pick it up, made me feel.. like they owed me some frequent walker miles. Over an hour later I want to get out of the place.  Now the potty.  One by one they would go off to find the bathroom and come back 5 or 10 minutes later.  I am thinking they are using the facilities the timing seem right for this function.  I saw what I thought was the pee pee dance out of a couple of them but dismissed it as I imagined it.  Then I see a couple of repeat trips and start to question why.  One says "you need a key, well go ask for it.  No Mom. I can't ask for it,  What! are you kidding me.  No, Mom it says Don't ask for the key to the bathroom..  What I seen several people going in and out of there.  But Its locked.  I know go ask for the key.  On the door it says don't ask for the key workers only.  I said "No its a restaurant and they have to have a bathroom for customers."  Go back and read what it says word for word.  Now it is important to be right and there is group mentality of, if more than one of us are right than I must be wrong. So off they go to show me who is right.  They come back and say,"Customers Only, don't ask for the key. Ya, do you know what a customer is?   No.  Oh for heavens sakes it you, You are the customer the people who buy there food. Go ask for the key....  Seven people in a one seater was way more agonizing time to spend in this place than I ever want to.  As we are walking out I turned to the girls and said "So does this mean we aren't eating here tomorrow.  I think I may have caught a glimpse of the finger when they all attacked me for my sarcasm.

2011/11/24

Exposed

I think my problem started the night before, when all the girls decided  to wait till morning to take their showers.  We planed to leave about 10:30 to drive down and pick up my oldest daughter at college and start our vacation
We all hung out in bed just a little long because we did not have to get 10 dogs ready for the trip as they were staying home with the house/dog sitter.  The mayhem then started as the bathrooms filled up with girls starting their new careers in the shower. We have three showers but the one in the basement has never been used since we moved in.  No one has found it necessary to use the KOA camping shower down there and I was not about to be the first so I waited like a good Mom.. The wait seemed endless as time was ticking away and I did not want to miss the meeting time with my daughter. As the last girl left I ran in and jumped in the shower only to find cold water.  They drained the hot water.   So I decided to clean the shower door while I waited for hot water.  As quick as I finished I slipped off my big rubber gloves and tossed them under the sink when the door flew open. The first kid just starts laughing and covers her face.  Hey! I yelled. She came back with I didn't think you were still in here. "Beat it" I said, and jumped in the shower.  Thinking the whole time glad I did not have to explain being naked with rubber gloves on.  The show was still cold but doable.  I then realized the shampoo and conditioner was packed now and I"m dripping wet.  I yelled out for someone to bring them back so I could finish when the door flew open again now I have a kid giving me a phone.  I said " I'm taking a show do you all mind." As she is standing there insisting I take the phone the next kid came with the shampoo and conditioner. The girl with the phone says "Mom it's Beatriz"  OK now I need to find out if something has changed with our meeting time. As I'm standing there naked and dripping talking on the phone the next kid comes. Beatriz is just calling to let me know she will be ready at the meeting time and place.  OK! I yelled I'm trying to take a show and all the kids are in the bathroom and I am naked and dripping. Now I shoved the phone back at one of them yelled at the rest to get out. I finally finished my show and was toweling off when yet another girl rushes through the door.  Now she is totally embarrassed, she is bowing and lowering her head like she just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. I said" don't worry mine is just a lot older than yours." now the youngest is back and want to check her hair and face in the mirror.  I yelled" are you kidding me I am naked get the hell out of the bathroom."  I was almost finished dressing when one came back looking for lotion. I gave her the lotion on the sink and said "Get OUT."  She replied I don't like that lotion.  Why? because it toilet lotion  What are you talking about? See Mom it says Toilet Moisturizing.  Well now I am almost on the floor laughing because in the past the lotion diapered at an alarming rate to make me think they were drinking the stuff.  Now I know why this lotion has been in there a month..  Through my tears and bouts of manic laughter I said " It says Total Moisturizing not Toilet.  When the door comes open again and now someone wants to know what is funny. GET OUT ! As I composed myself I yelled out the door one last time "does anyone else need to see me naked before I get dressed." 


2011/11/21

Holiday Photo shoot


Every year we do the annual family Christmas photo.  Most years I worry about how many dogs we will have and will there be enough arms to hold all of them.  The vet techs at the university do these pet photos every year as a fund raiser. Last year they joked if you have more dogs you will need more people next year, as every year the photo grows. Everyone two legged and four legged are in the photo. The dogs all get holiday jammies to wear and the humans just want to look cute.  So this year the number of dogs stayed at 10 but the humans grew to 8.  Now getting all the dogs and all the kids to do the same thing at the same time is often a real work of art. You really have to start thinking out of the box to get this all done in the click of a shutter.  It often takes many shots to get just one. This year I did not anticipate the human side of this.  Every kids is thinking they are a fashion model with all the run way looks they can come up with.  Now I do not believe the the models selling sex or who know what in there photos would use the same look in a family photo, but with 7 girls they all think this is their shot to the big time so do it right. Kids!  Well the dogs was the least of my worries this year.  We had every kind of look, from choke hold on the dog to demonic possession.  So that being said we are home with our password to the photo shoot and the as we click through our choices  no two kids like the same picture.  Everyone of them was more worried about how cute they looked and it did not matter what the other 7 people and 10 dogs looked like. The mood went from excitement to, well lets just say ice queens laying down a thick cover of frost over the room, I knew that before this broke out into frosty hell I needed to think quick or suffer later.  I took three of the girls to my room on the computer and one by one ask them which picture they like and wanted.  I saved them all with their name on them and sent them to their e-mail addresses so they could save, post, print or hang on the wall for dart practice.  Now the decisions as to which poss would hang on the wall for all to see is still in debate.  Some of the girls went off in their own direction some stayed to argue the point and some just ate lunch.  I snuck to my room and made my choice as to what picture will adorn the wall of the Damn Dog house.  I ordered a large one for the wall and 7 smaller prints to give to all the girls Short of hanging 7 different posses of the same holiday picture on the wall and having them mad at me for not picking their poss, the later of the two seemed a much easier solution. I might add that one of the dog is the sexiest one in the photo with her bare belly and naked stuff held up for all to see.

2011/11/15

The damn dog bit me "Three times"



In all my years of working with and having dog which if most of 59 years, I have not been bitten till just before Mothers day this year, was my first.  It started right as I turned the car off.  The door to the house was open and all the damn dogs are outside barking and screaming and jumping around in the frantic MOMS home way dogs do.   When I heard the sounds of kill, coming from the middle of the mass of excited dogs.  I dropped my stuff and ran to stop the fight, could not get the gate open my panic rose as all I could think of was the foster dog getting hurt.  One of the foster and one of mine own dogs are highly competitive Alpha males and when the excitement level of the pack goes up they tear into one another.  So they are not allow to go outside at the same time or be alone at home without humans around. Kids being kids they leave the door open so the dogs can run in and out at will.  And I show up. then all hell broke loose. Now, how I handle dog fights is to grab both offending dog by the jammies at the same time and suspend them in mid air till the snarling snapping mouths stop.  Then separate till calm.  Well that time my dog was naked so I could only grab one.  First mistake, l grabbed the one with jammies, my own dog being was naked,  may I add  he can reach shoulder high levels when he jumps, was then able to leap into the air to grab at the foster dog in my arms. Of course my arm is between the two of them when my dog lept to grab the foster and got my arm instead.  I now know what it feels like to be skinned .  He caught just enough skin and hung tight till it peeled back a 50 cent size piece of skin.  So now I have officially been skinned.  I was left stunned, standing there yelling "you bit me" .  The blood just kept coming no way a Dr could do anything ,the dog swallowed the skin, so no putting it back no graphs, just deal with it.  Well then I had my next new experience,the girls got to play nurse. I can say this,  what I felt when they poured the alcohol over the hole took me to a new dimension  in pain. 
I survived and thought I won't do that again. 
Now I have made sure everyone  interested in my foster knows he is a great snuggle bug but he is an Alpha that will not live well with another alpha dog in the home.  This has left the adoption pool pretty lean for him as most want a second dog and have no idea what there first dog is. I was beside my self when a potential adopter wanted to come meet him and they did not have another dogs so he would be the only dog. It was a normal day warm and sunny I was outside playing with the dog when the potential adopter arrived.  They were informed of my dog and the foster but I am sure they did not think they would witness this alpha exchange.  They got out of the car came up to the fence all the dogs went crazy COMPANY'S HERE!!!!!!  When I heard the sound that made me turn on my heals to pull the two dogs apart. Again I am thinking save the foster his new  home was watching. When my shoulder high leaping dog nailed me again. I could have won an Oscar for my performance. I laughed it off and tried to make light of the whole ordeal and we went into the house and sat for awhile and chatted.  All I wanted to do is pull up my sleeve and assess the damage to my arm, It was hurting like hell now and I resisted the the urge to rub or grab at it in anyway.  I did not want the potential adopter to know I was hurt.  As I look back , it did not matter I still have the foster.
The bruise was way bigger this time than the tooth mark almost no blood and healed rather quickly.  Again,  I told myself, I will not do that again.  

2011/11/13

You are SO BUSTED


I would love to know how dogs think I often think with my human mind but I am sure they have a simpler way of processing information than humans.  I know they are trainable but I truly  believe that at some point in the life the training takes on a whole new form. Such as they train themselves and we have no effect on them.  The senility sets in and they only want what they want, when they want it. Unlike humans we just forget everything.  Over the past few years my two seniors have taught me a lot even my sweet Idgy all she wanted was comfy place to suck up the heat. She could not be deter from her goal. Now my Archie only wants what ever is in the cupboards, garbage, Tupperware canisters can be great fun with a prize inside.  Rice,pasta noodles and can we say mister potato head all have great interest to him. If it can be eaten then Bon App├ętit if not well its fun to play with. Heaven for bid if the others get involve then some one has to pee or poo in the middle of said mess, and it grows and moves to all corners of the house.  After Halloween my bed was remade with candy wrappers and sticky crumbs, but that's another story.  We harnessed Archie when we would leave the house, and this seem to do the trick.  As of late he has lost total control all we need to do is leave the room or get involved with a TV program and the familiar sound of cupboard doors snapping shut ring out from the kitchen. So this morning I am up early getting my coffee and bagel and then I went to my room to enjoy a peaceful breakfast before the rest of the house wakes up.  When that familiar  sound rang out from upstairs I grab my camera this time.  He is now busted on video The Damn Dog.


2011/11/09

Intruder

   
With 10 or 12 dogs someone is not always going to be happy.   One minute it just sweet bliss two dogs sitting on the couch licking each other eyes rolled back in their  heads and totally unaware of their surroundings.  A couple on the floor chewing nylabones, the rest snuggled here and there on some ones lap or under a blanket.  But there is always one that is in the window watching for any movement outside. With one bark the entire house goes ballistic.  They run like hell acting as if they will get the unknown intruder, not knowing where this intruder may be they must run from door to door window to window in grand pursuit slipping and sliding on the laminate floors crashing into each other. Snarling and snapping at each other to get out of there way so they can get the intruder first. The whole while the human life in the house is in unison, yelling, “SHUT UP” to the top of our lungs.  By the time they figure out that there is no intruder and it is a false alarm and the ringing stops in our ears, they all go back to doing whatever someone else was doing.  Now there has been a shift change of who is chewing, who is snuggling and who was licking who.  Our ears are just now readjusting to the volume on the TV and one decides that someone is in his lap so there is a little power struggle over who gets the top of the pile or closest to the face attached to the body they are sitting on, with this starts the grumbling. Then there is an argument over the nylabones, hey the longer one you can hold while chewing, but the short one you can put in your mouth and chew as you walk, and neither dog has the one they want, again with the grumbles.  Now some like to lick and some like to be licked and the two should not switch or more grumbling.  Now when the gerrrrrs, and hell I can’t even spell the sound that they make when unhappy with each other, gets going the volume starts going up again.  So it takes a little while to get each group calmed down and settled back down to their desired activity. And Bliss begins again; the Satellite is run back so the humans can catch what they missed on TV when the false alarm went off.  All have forgotten the lone dog in the window, waiting looking for any movement to alert the others of. Then it comes, the intruder alert bark that sets it all in motion again.  Damn Dogs.