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2012/08/30

Damn Dog vacation 2012







I planned our vacation around my oldest daughter short time off this summer; she took summer school and only had a couple of weeks at the end before fall semester started. As time grew near we found that the next oldest started her college before Labor day and she could not miss the first three classes because they would drop her,  We tried many things to get around this but nothing materialize but the fact that she could not go on vacation with us. Then last week the next oldest tells me her sister baby is due and she needs to go to her home the week we go on vacation to watch her other kids while she is in the hospital.  Well not much you can do about Mother Nature, so we are down to just the three of us and 7 dogs; I took advantage of the situation and left the geriatric cases at home. The camper is hooked up and camp fees paid we are going.  Now I still do not know how to back the thing up but I know I will give it the all American try.  I figure if all else fails I can go knock on someone else trail and beg for help. I surprised myself by backing it in between two trees and it only took 30 tries.  We got the trailer put up and proceeded to build a crude fenced in area for the dog to hang out and not have to be on leashes.  For 20 bucks I got a roll of garden fence 50 ft long and three feet high, and for another 8 bucks six stakes to hold it up.




At one point I was thinking I would just fence in the camper and a little of the camp site, but was not sure if the dogs crawling around under the thing was such a good idea either so we just fenced half of the campsite. Now we have had a lot of sight seers, gawkers and the likes stopping out front and checking out the fenced in camp site full of dogs. The looks and comments are starting to get annoying; but hey we are compliant. Most days I am happy to entertain folks but not on vacation, this is my time.  
I never would have guessed how boring we three are together the youngest wants to shop and hang out at the beach Buttttt not by herself, I am completely happy sitting her doing nothing lying around in a hammock, blogging or just reading.  The oldest doesn't care, but would rather I be with them, it keeps the fighting down to a college roar.  The 5 mile hike yesterday was all the excitement I needed. There is a small island just off the coast of Lake Michigan called Fisherman's Island, I thought because the drought this year that the water would be low enough and expose the land bridge that goes out to it. But I soon learned that walking the beach there was impossible because the rocky shore line was to ruff for us or the dogs to walk on.  We made it back to the road and hiked to the end form there only to find no pets allowed on the beach, ending our adventure at that point. The walk back was sucky as we did not see the island and or the lake itself, just the dusty road and I swear I ate at least a pound of dust no telling how much the dogs ate as they were closer to the stuff than I was; our feet was even white with dust.    This morning the youngest says we have till eleven and then we have to go to town and shop. Whatever!!!!  You’ll need a bomb to get me out of here.  It didn't take long for them to know I was not leaving camp and no way in hell was I going shopping.  

So the two girls set off to see the island without me and dogs.  Halleluiah and Amen, I’m alone at last. I tried to provide enough creature comforts for the dogs so they would not be a pain in my butt while camping, they have space to run, chairs and carpet to lay on and they can be with us and not have to be on a leash for a week, and the chipmunks have entertained them till I am ready to start pulling my last 10 hairs out. 

The sound of the waves lapping the shore line and the kids playing in the surf with camp ground chatter in the back ground was very  peaceful and relaxing sound and it put me to sleep until the dogs barking brought me back from my blissful slumber, to see the girls coming into camp.  Hungry and tired they pulled out the salsa and chip, made their cool aid water and began to talking my ear off.  The youngest loves hot spicy food no matter what it is, so just for her I got one hot salsa and one mild. Kids are kids and do the damnedest things of which makes me wonder how they really survive, the youngest is trying to open the salsa and balance a bag of chip the whole time keeping the dogs at bay, she was having a difficult time and I chose to ignore her rather than argue about putting the chips down and stand up to open the damn jar, as she put one more wrenching twist to the jar it came open as if it was an erupting volcano covering her in hot salsa. Now the dogs came in for the kill and started lapping up salsa, then come the drama, “Ma the dogs are eating me”. She jumped up and the red goo slid down the front of her and dripped on the heads of the closest dogs, it dripped into her sandals it had already got through her legs and on the chair. As she attempts to get out of the dog enclosure we are sitting in, the dogs are all over her, lapping up the stuff, now what appeared to be licking food; It has now become apparent that this is double duty licking as the fire in the sauce is starting to burn.  The tears are so thick I can't see anymore as the visions of an aromatic night, dance in my head and the kid ran for the lake dipping all the way.
As there is only three of us the dogs have plenty of sleeping places in the camper to select from, and they tried every last one of them and some went back to try out a spot several times.
In the morning the dog’s bladders go off way before ours but we all go out before the sun is up and take care of business. The girls do not want to hike down to the stinky out house so they tinkle in the bushes along with the dogs. As time went on unused spots became scares, I had to put my foot down as they ran out of bushes and places to pee and were encroaching on the camper and picnic table. 
Now not only do I have to deal with the damn kids and dog I have the wild life here that is not any better than the kids and dogs I brought with me to camp. This is not my first rodeo and I know better than to leave the trash bag on the ground for the animals to get into and this is our fourth morning here that I have had to clean up trash that has been strewn over the camp site during the night. I mean what the hell is wrong with me.  The fist night we left all the food in plastic boxes on the picnic table and either the chipmunks or some Raccoons’ with tiny teeth ate one of the boxes.  The contents were untouched but the box is no more.  They did however leave a nice little pile of green plastic for me to clean up. I thought they were all possessed and going to do in me and the dogs. Hell they even shit on the picnic table after they ate the chips. GAWD
 Even the ice cream truck drove through, can't say I ever seen this before but I never had kids before either.

As the morning progresses I learned that a sleepy kid and a hammock do not necessarily bond well. I was a sitting in the lounge chair drinking my coffee and she staggers out of the camper looking as if the sand man hit her with a bag of sand instead of sprinkling star dust.  I ask if she was awake yet and she shook her head the best she could without falling out of the trailer.  I watched her walk over to the hammock and pull it open and fall smack on her butt. Now she has leaf debris in her hair and all over her cloths and the look of shock on her face.  “What the hell is wrong with you?  I thought you were awake”.  I don’t think she knew what to rub first, her ass or her eyes. 
 Now if you can't find a hair tie just use your shirt to tie your hair back.
 Even if the sun is going down and its time for bed you still need sunglasses. The day we went to town to shop, one of the girls has her favorite hoody on and waiting for the rest of use to get our butts in gear. She is playing with the dogs and one of them came up to her and rubbed his head all over her. She was laughing and said "Ma, what is on his face"?  I don't know but its on you too. The bastard dog ate shit and wiped his mouth on me. Okay, so you have on a Beaver shit shirt instead of a Beaver Island shirt......,  I'm not sure if she was crying as she left to change or cussing me. Either way it was funny, I love it when they get the kids and not me.
Video
Now just trying to relax has its moments of what the Hell.  A dog scratching his butt on my butt and a kid who does not want any one to see her Asian eyes.  I just roll my eyes in disbelief. Who knew?
 We took a hike down to the flats and looked at the stone sculptures I do not have any idea when this started or why but every year I go down to see these interesting lithic structures.  I never see the same ones as they are destroyed as waves or winter weather displace them. Then more are built. 
     Now every vacation has its down points and this one had a good one at the end. We had all things pack away the camper supports and ends put away and ready to lower it, knowing the battery was dead I backed the van up to it and hooked in the pig tail from the car and started it up and nothing.  To make that long ass story short we ended up hiking up to Ranger station and Ranger Rick came down and took the motor apart to lower it manually. Trust me it was not that simple this was a three hour ordeal to get the damn thing down so we could come home. I had some choice words this morning when I learned it would be two more weeks before the dealer can work on it.  OK so I am sure by the time they get it open again the food, cloths, pee blankets and dirty dishes will just be in a wonderful conducive condition to grow and support unwanted life forms. I can hardly contain myself waiting for this moment. As Ranger Rick rides off I jump in the van yell out "count the dogs" and hooked my seat belt. Put it in drive and looked up and here is the youngest running in front of the van yelling "Count the kids Ma" Vacation 2012 is now over but there will be residual effects to come, of this I am sure.





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