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The Maiden voyage....

 As life goes I was presented with a reason to take the camper out on her maiden voyage.  I got the call at work that two dogs needed to be brought into rescue and they were down on Arkansas and Missouri border. Ok now this is why I got the damn thing so I would not have to worry about these calls and hotels for 10 plus dogs and 4 or more kids. Two of the kids are away for camp and one at college so that left me and one kid and 9 dogs.  The more I thought about backing the damn thing up the more nervous I became.  I called my daughter and told her to get things together we might leave when I got home or early in the morning depending on working on getting the dogs pulled and moving them north.  As I worked out the final details I started to think hell there is just the two of us I can leave it at home and we can sleep in the back of the van.  By the time I got home I was ready to scrap the whole idea of using this camper and I would just find a motel with outside entrance to sneak dogs into. As it turned out we were to leave at 6 am so I had time to think about this camper looming over me in my drive way.  I finally got mad at myself for spending so much time worrying about taking this or not; I cursed  myself and went to the drive way and positioned the van to back it under the trailer ball.  Now, I not only have to get this trailer on, I have to do it with some confidence to show my daughter how women can do anything and not be afraid.  Ya, I was really scared about getting the damn thing stuck or jackknifing it. As I started to put the stabilizer on and get the bars that are stiff as a board up and hook on, I thought now don’t smash your finger in this or you will have a problem. I took it one step at a time and worked it like a puzzle as my daughter watched with the most concerned face I have ever seen her with.  Now the fact that the humidity and my meds, OH and just the whole flame on part of life I am in, caused me to start sweating like a faucet turned on full. My face became fire engine red and my hair plastered to my head as if someone dumped a bucket of water on me. Then I hear the alarm in my daughters voice as she says” Mom are you okay” I stopped went to get some paper towel and mope my head and said “Now I am” We both laughed and I finished hooking the trailer up. We put all are stuff in the van and some kennels then went inside and had a bite to eat and went to bed. We got up and got things around and the anxiety started to build, so when I walked out the door and locked it behind me, I thought I was going to throw up.  This is it sink or swim. I got out the drive way and drove less than a block and remember some paper work I needed. I made this huge U-tern in the middle of the street. I swear my confidence came flooding in I could not believe I did that without a bit of thought. I looked at my daughter and said “don’t try this at home I’m a trained professional”. I got my paper work by parking along the road because I still can’t back up.  The trip continued on to my other daughter campus where we picked her up so she could go with us.  It wasn’t long before I felt totally comfortable driving with the camper on the back.  My Gawd I spent a hell of a lot of time worrying about this trail and it was not bad at all.  It seemed strange for the first time in forever to only think of myself and I wasted it on worry.  Things went back to normal as I am having a fit about not being able to read signs because of all the trucks blocking my view.  My oldest starts saying she can’t read the signs because she does not have her glasses on.  I said” get the damn things on and help me out here”. From the back seat I hear “mom I can read all the signs if I could read English”.  As we all laughed I knew all would be Ok.  Then the sound of gaging that dogs make one second before they empty the contents of their stomach came looming out from between the seat, Gertrude let it go all over Weezie as she snoozed on the floor between the front seats and got the semi new purse, that sent the girls into their own, dramatic version of being grossed out, I laughed at them as they cleaned it up and sprayed Weezie and the contents of my purse with fabreeze, and yell at me to stop laughing it wasn’t funny. We bring old bath towels we have just for cleaning up after dogs that the girls used.  I myself never saw what happened to the towels after that but they did come back to haunt me on the return trip, when I grab a folded one and whipped my moth and face with it; then I was grossed out.
We arrived at our meeting point within five minutes of the other transporter without any further problems. We got the two dogs and chit chatted for a minute or two and then we went to the RV park close by. As RV parks go I cannot imagine any one staying in this thing for more than a sleep over.  There were some huge RV’s that screamed the owner may have had a dollar or two more than me.  They had their satellite dishes, AC and it was very obvious these folks had been here awhile.  I ask the owner if he had a pull through and he said yes.  I walked out to see the pull through and found it was smack dab in the middle of the hot sun with no shade. The temps crept up over 100 and there was no way we would survive this in the sun.  Back it up or cook to death, can’t say either of those options looked good to me but I decided being embarrassment was better than being cooked to death. Now as the owner stood by with his supervisory skills on what, when and where I should move the trailer, I thought please don’t let me run this man over accidentally or purposely.  We did get it put up and all went well and we cooked any way. I have now overcome the beastly camper and no one died and I only had minimal embarrassment.  


  1. You know, I would call my life chaotic, but when I read about yours I think I have it pretty easy, LOL!