Ketchup is not a food group

Growing up we had a family from the South that lived next to us and I thought grape jelly on grits and Ketchup on eggs of any kind, was a cultural Southern food. Now after I grew up and lived in the South for 14 years I realize it was not, just someone’s odd taste that was developed and passed on in the family. Now as odd taste will go I have a couple such as A1 steak sauce on cottage cheese. I say this to be fair to the kids who eat the strangest foods, and food combination that will cause me to twinge a little to see them eat it. Now I am sure that most have had a sub from Subway and everyone has a different condiment that they want on their subs but as of yet I have not found one Subway that has ketchup, nor have I met anyone who puts ketchup on their subs. I have stopped asking because I get the strangest looks and snickers and it’s not for me.  One of the girls eats ketchup on everything and will just squirt it in her mouth and go yummmm. I buy it by the gallon and she eats it by the gallon. When we are out she will drive me nuts till I have gotten the ketchup and she can see it as proof that I really did asked and got it for her. 
We took a day trip up North this weekend to do some sight seeing and beach combing. We stoped for breakfast at Mc Donald's as it is cheap and quick, sometimes, it’s a gamble we take when in a hurry. We had a lot of things we wanted to do in one day so sitting around eating breakfast was not on our list. I felt so bad for the lady taking our order: as they were short handed and the lady of retirement age was the only one at the register.  We are a nightmare to wait on; sitting at a table or standing at a counter.  I always try to get the order and give it to the waitperson as there are less mistakes and the waitperson will survive us better. This time being no different I get all the girls orders and I'm arranging them in my head to lessen the stress on this poor lady, when my ketchup eater starts in, don't forget ketchup. I said "you’re only eating a biscuit and hash browns". Now distraction will send my mind into the twilight zone in a flash; so when the kids then started to ask questions about every item on the menu, my arranged and helpful ordering technique went straight out the door. So now they all want to have one thing from each of the groups of foods in their one through 12 ordering system. All I can say is we did get the ketchup right and in a large quantity, and I am real sure that poor lady was close to having a stroke by the time we left.
As we are trying to consume our food with 9 dogs in a van going down the highway, the complaints and bitching started.  Then two of the girls started in teasing the ketchup eating girl, as she is just eating ketchup. Now I get in on the back end of the situation and say "you’re just eating ketchup"? Then comes the, ya Ma let me show you, everything after that was a blur of chaos. 
Cabot who is my bad boy alpha is sitting in my lap when L. sticks what I learned later was a packet of open Ketchup over my shoulder to show me how she was eating it. He then thinks she is offering up food to him and tries to grab it from her. She screams and yanks her hand back and the ketchup went flying, it was flung from my shoulder all the way to the back seat hitting both the girls sitting back there, the sides of the van and everything in between. Now I have no idea what the hell is going on other than now the dog is licking my shirt and the girls are all yelling and laughing. One of the girls did not find humor in the ketchup slung across the front of her shirt and just sat there as ketchup girl and one of the others cleaned her off. All the dogs are now into getting as much ketchup as they can. I cannot do nothing except laugh and drive while catching glimpses of chaos coming from my rear view mirror. I still have to see if I can get the stain out of the back of the seat.