Follow by Email

2011/12/17

If you care about eating take care of the stove.

This is the situation.  Who ever built my kitchen before I bought the house did not have any animals.  As you can see the island range is in actuality an open range for the dogs. I have fought a loosing battle to keep the dogs off the counters.  I have given up.  I just wash them down every time I am about to cook or prepare food. Now the problem is the new dogs they are loving cuddly,cute little hooligans that give Damn Dog a new meaning.
So every little splatter of grease food anything will draw the dogs to the top of the range.  They don't even have to smell any thing they simply just go there through out the day looking to see if they can find anything to scarf on. We have been good about not leaving any food on the counters after we eat or make a snak.  But what does not get done every single time is clean the range and sanitize it of any smells or drops of food. It gets done at night before we all go to bed.  So when the first knob went missing we all just scratched our heads. The second knob was found chewed like a piece of gum.  We are now down to two knob to turn the stove on and off with.  I kept yelling at the girls to keep them clean so the dogs would not bother them. That did not work so when the third one was found in the same condition the second one was in, I called them all to the kitchen.  As they stood around the range I held out my hand and said if you don't take care of this last knob we will not have a way to cook.  When you finish cooking take if off and put it in the draw so the dogs can not get it. My last and final words were if you care about eating take care of the stove.  It lasted maybe 4 days.  We came home late from being out and about the girls were all hungry two of them got out a pan and put oil in it and proceeded to fry turkey hot dogs.  Now I would never but its their stomach, so I mostly do not want to see this kind of food consumption so I go about my business and don't give them another look. While they are enjoying the fruits of their labor they did not give the stove another thought.  Then the third girl comes in and wants to try one also.  The stove is turned on, turkey dog fried, stove off and consumption has started when the 4th girl gets out a second pan and starts to pour oil in it.  I said "What are you doing?" She says "I want to make an egg". So use the same pan with oil already in it. She says "No Mom they cooked turkey in it". I Yelled "don't start the I can't eat turkey thing with me again". Which is a whole different story. OK! I won't eat at all.  "Fine" I said and the room cleared. As no one wants to get in to this argument.  And off to my room I went.  Now this was the start of the end.  The next morning we get up and all get ready and left for the day. I am always the last one out of the house so I take the last look around making sure dogs are kenneled, things pick up and lights off. Now on my final sweep through the living room I see the black thing under the little table in the corner.  With out my glasses I'm thinking I have a poo to clean up. On closer examination I find it to be the last and final burner knob for the stove chewed like a piece of gum.  I thought I am sure I will have a heck of a time finding these at Home Depot. I hope the micro wave doesn't die now these kids won't survive eating uncooked food. Now, I still have a coffee pot and a toaster I will survive longer than they will.  Lessons must be learned.
About 3 in the afternoon just about the time the kids get home the phone rings at work.  Hi Mom how are you?  I'm fine, what do you want.  She says" I have some good news and some bad news which one do you want to hear".  I said "The dogs ate the last knob on the stove, whats the good new".  Hey how did you know Mom? I found it this morning before work.  It sucks to be you guys.  Mom how we going to cook.  I said "It's not my problem I warned you all about leaving the knob on the stove".  I can live a long time on bagels and coffee how long can you live on bread and water?  So whats the good news?  She said"There isn't any I just didn't know how to tell you we can't cook tonight".
A few days go by and they are whining something awful now the oldest is home from college and mad because she was not part of this mess and she is not able to cook.  She says "Mom call Jason the handy man" No you call him.   She picks up the phone and calls him and complains I won't fix the stove can he.  I yelled across the room its the girls problem you don't have to fix it. The phone was shove at me and I was told "Mom ask him to fix it".   I laughed and told Jason what happened and he said "I don't know where to get new knobs for the stove but maybe the dimmer switch on the lights might work".  I told him "Thank and hung up. Went to the wall pulled the dimmer switch off and tried it.  It was way too small so I put it back, put on the coffee and popped a bagel in the toaster.
Now this is what we live with till I decide they have learned a lesson.  One of them found that they could turn one of the spindles with a towel and her fingers the others are too tight.  I have not told them about  pliers because they still think they have out smarted me.


No comments:

Post a Comment