Can't fix stupid

After slipping on the ice yesterday my aches and pains where wearing on me today, so I took this afternoon off to do a little R&R with out the kids at home. As my car pulls into the drive at home the Southern sun was flooding into my front kitchen window were I could see Gertrude laying on the island range sleeping. Now this is norm for the dogs to get up there to sun themselves but she had fallen  asleep and her head all the way to her front shoulders was hanging off the side of the counter. Good thing she has a healthy ass because that was all that was holding her on the top of the counter. As the car passed the window I noticed she did not move so I thought wow I can get a picture of her I grab my phone (as if I know how to take a picture with damn thing anyway) I snuck back out front to the window and she in fact did not know I was home. As I fumbled around trying to figure out how to take the picture the phone suddenly dings, low battery and shuts off. Now I am proud that I have made it this far and was not detected by one dog so now I think I can sneak into the house and get the camera that is on the kitchen table; I can get the picture after all. Some days I amaze myself, with the idiotic thoughts that come into my head and I act on them. I put my purse down and take my coat and shoes off on the patio and work my stealth opening door talents, and find that I am still not detected; now the game is on I am in deed going to sneak up on this dog and get a picture. I get up to the top step in full view of her hanging off the counter when (creak goes the floor),  the sound sent her into motion but not knowing what end was up she done a two and half gainer off the side of the counter and hit the floor. I was frozen because reality just set in , she could have killed herself. As she hit the floor she did not miss a step as she gain her presents of mind and went into her big dog home protector act. Now as fast as all of this took place she is standing in front of me barking her head off and in every other room of the house the intruder alert went off. all I could do is laugh and keep my knees together as to not pee my pants. So much for R&R and trying to sneak up on the dog. What Hell could I have been thinking.