In the past few weeks we have had 10 dogs enter the rescue. It has been so hectic that blogging definitely got kicked to the curb as the needs of dogs and kids grew. I can’t say I would ever recommend 14 dogs at one time. At one point I had 17 in the van as I moved dogs from South to North. We have brought in many new reps and working on getting a few more. This has become a huge hunk of my life to say the least. I knew I had met the two ends of my rope as it was tightening around my neck, I have to move dogs. I have never been one to take on a responsibility and then pass it on to someone else but this is just what I have had to do. I feel guilty, overwhelmed and completely incompetent. I had to come to that moment when I had to say I can’t do this anymore and I did not like it at all. So now I have to search myself to find out what could I have been thinking. Reality sucks some times and this is one of them. I had to force myself to do what I thought I never would. Now the folks that are taking on the fostering of my dogs are great and very capable so that is not my problem. It is to start something I can’t finish. I feel like I gave up or something. My friends have been there to reassure me and comfort me through this time and never told me to suck it up and get over it. That’s what I call a friend.
I never knew the hooligans played such a huge part in my life until they were gone. I find myself waiting for them to come racing down the stairs or wrestling on the bed as it move across the floor from their hardy play. I had to watch them like you would two three year old children. They filled every crevice of my life and now I feel like part of myself is gone. Letting them go to a new foster home was like letting 10 dogs go at one time. I never knew what an impact it was having on me till it was gone. They have left a huge whole here, although I do now have time to do some things that I could not do while they were here, it’s not the same. It has been such a trip having them here I am not sure I will have anything to blog about. Life sure is quite now. But it only takes one e-mail or one phone call to fill it right back so for now I will enjoy a break from Chaos.