Smart ass dogs.

I know dogs are smart but I still think I can pull a fast one over on them. It mostly back fires on me but that does not stop my from trying again and again.  The Texas fly swatter is dead and gone we have tried many thing to deter the dogs from what ever they are doing that annoys the hell out of us. We have had some success with squirt bottles. They work the best when well chilled, nothing like a cold blast of water on 102 degree bare skin to make'em stop. The problem being the bottle is never in the room you are in when the damn dogs start acting up. The other day I came home and the dogs start barking and will not stop. I can not hear myself think let alone yell at them and get the girls attention who are upstairs. Mako is standing at the gate just barking his ass off. I kept yelling at him to stop and at the same time looking around the kitchen for the bottle. Of course it was in the living room and a gate between me and it. As I reached meltdown temps and could feel a full blown anxiety attack coming on I turned and cupped my hand under the water faucet and filled my palm with water and tossed the water at him. Now if you have ever tried to throw a hand full of water at any thing or any one it is like pissing in the wind. Now I am wet and pissed off, so out of sheer frustration I grabbed the bottle of dish soap and stuck it out in front of me as if I was going to squirt him with it. I swear he started to laugh at me. The look on his face said are you nuts what the hell is that, and he kept on barking. I am so frustrated now I grabbed the window cleaner as it has it is a squirt bottle, again with the what the hell look. Okay! Ass hole I know you know I won't, but let me get in that living room and get the real deal and you're toast. I dropped the bags I had in my hand and jumped the gate. He was laughing at me,I swear, as I leaped the gate. I got the water bottle and all I saw was his bare ass vanish into the dog room. Now the barking has stopped and my kids think I have lost my mind and the dog is still laughing at me. Awwwwwww quiet....... and a red face my fav.