When I die, Seriously?

I must say I never knew putting on a necklace could be so confusing. I have seen my daughter put her necklace on, behind her head and over her hair. Then she pulls her hair out. I was quite shocked the first time I saw her do it and quickly told her she would break the chain. Then I saw her do it again some time later and warned her she would break the chain.  I showed her how to put the necklace on and that seemed to be the end of it.  Now that was way over a year or so ago but have not seen her putting on any jewelry since. The other night we were talking again about who gets what when I die (yes it can be quite a conversation when it gets going). Now mostly I am just sarcastic and say things like I am leaving everything to the dogs and their care taker. That usually gets it really going. Jewelry got thrown in because my Mom loves jewelry and has lots. Now most of it is costume jewelry but she takes such good care of it you'd think it was the crown jewels. The girls know gold is a good thing but could not tell the difference between gold and tin spray painted gold. The conversation then turns to how do you know if something is real gold. My smart remark was if it's not gold you will turn green after you wear it for a while. That sent them all to the mirrors to check for green. Now no one was green so they all thought they had the real deal around there neck. I let them believe they were the proud owners of white gold and not surgical stainless steal. The oldest then runs to her room and brings back a necklace I gave her in secret a couple of years ago. It was a necklace I had with my birthstone in it which is green in color and her favorite color. I swore her to secrecy as I did not want the other to feel left out or hurt. She showed it to all and ask "is this real gold"? I said yes and then one said "Were did you get it"? She looked at me and said "I bought it", "NO, mom gave it to you". No I didn't! Mom do you think I am stupid? No, and stop saying that word, no one is stupid we may do some things that are stupid but no one is stupid. Then the oldest puts the necklace on behind her head and over her hair. I sucked in air and started in, I keep telling you that you'll break it if you keep doing that. Okay, how do I put it on? Then the show and tell starts, and it was not going very well when one of the girls yells, you are so unsmart. Now that brought the house down and then conversation got real unsmart as we started to laugh like a bunch of teenage girls.