SOAP!!! Who knew?

I was on a dog transport and came home in the wee hours of the morning and wanted a quick shower to relax and I could sleep in the next day.  I turned on the water jumped in and went to grab the soap that I just opened and put in the shower the day before. all I can say is it was by shear tiredness that I did not go up stairs and yank a kid from her sleep for taking my soap.  As I buy in quantity and the bar soap supply is just over the toilet there is no need to steal the soap out of my shower. Now what comes to mind is a lazy kid that thinks it's easier to take the new one I just put in the shower rather than open the box and dispose of said box. The next day after work I get home and at some point I am reminded of the missing soap and ask my kid why????  "I did not take your soap, Ma". Well there is two of us in the house and I did not take my own soap and I flasher her the liar, liar look. I then ask her if this was her way of not hurting my feelings. As I have been told in the past the only time she lies to me is when she doesn't want to hurt my feelings.  This did seem to put a chill in the air for the evening and she went up stair to her room. I then went to bed. 

Weeks later I am cleaning out the kennels in the dog room and I hear the familiar sound of the shower door rattling in the bathroom. I look over and the bathroom is dark, no lights. I yelled " get out of the bathroom" nothing. So I got up and went into the bathroom turned on the light and almost died when I saw the damn dog trying to get the soap out of the shower. I ran back to the living room and grab the camera and when I got back he was still trying to get the damn soap. I got a few good shots of him and ran to the basement to tell the world on facebook about my damn dog. I am sure my finger was still on the send key when I heard the feet on the stairs the pounding across the floor going into the kitchen then down the hall was deafening.  My kid was almost in my room when I turned around to yell what is going on up there. She took one more big step and looked me in the eye and said " I TOLD YOU, I didn't take your soap". The cyclone of wind she created as she turned and flew back up the stairs faster than she came down, sent me into tears of laughter. I mean who would have thought the dog was eating the soap.

 

As this is such a new and unusual thing I am thinking the dog is playing with the soap and really not eating it. I looked high and low for the missing bar of soap and forgot about the whole thing in time.
A few weeks later the dog is sitting on the couch and with out warning throws up all over me and the couch. The smell of sour acidic Dove soap almost made me loose my stomach content.  And, yes it does bubble on its return. Now I am on heighten alert to keep the dog out of the bathroom, as he is really eating the stuff. 
I have been doing rather well remembering to keep the door shut and we have not had any further disappearing bars of soap.
Now my idea of a quick trip to the kitchen to get my hair tie and the dogs idea are not quite the same. And when I got back he was all over the damn soap again.  What the hell now I have a soap eating junking on my hands. Do they offer a 12 step for this.