There is an end and it's scary.

I have lived in Chaos for so long now I have come to expect it. I can only explain it as living with three year old duodecaplets. Although I do not know anyone that has ever had duodecaplets, I can only imagine that you need to be in twelve places at one time, which I have not ever been able to do. So the end result is poop, pee, barking, missed appointment, frustration, no time to do basic needs for anyone. I am not complaining I took this on and will keep my commitment I have made, I have learned to pick the fights and problems that need addressing ASAP and all the other stuff get filtered out through my blinders. The dogs are on lock down as the two big ones want to kill each other literally. I have tried my best to keep the big dog separate and still allow the little ones to move freely about the house. As they get smarter and smarter this has become impossible, so everyone one is on lock down.  The little guys are always trying to race gates as they never want to be left in the room that I am leaving.  So if I get ready to leave a room there is a herd of dogs trying to get through the gate that I am about to move through. It becomes a challenge to get only one or two dogs to move with you and keep the other back. It ends up becoming the definition of stupid. Repeating the same thing and expecting a different result. I end up slamming the gate and throwing back the ones I don’t want. Mako spends his time trying to figure out who is behind door one, as we sneak Sipan in and out of the house and up and down the stairs to keep them from seeing each other. This includes the little ones thinking they are getting left out of the fun so they are all over the place bitching about being left in whatever area they are in as they are never happy with where they get locked in. To keep them separated includes mass amounts of barking and bitching, No one is happy. Now when you add in the kids it put a whole new spin on things. As a couple of the dogs hate movement so they bark when anyone but me moves in the house, hell they bark at me if they hear me coming up the steps. I yell knock it off and they stop because it is me.  I have even started yelling before I start up the stairs. OK you ass holes I am coming up the stairs I don’t want to hear a peep out of you. Then we have the guard dogs that sit in the windows watching for any movement outside. This bark sends the whole pack into vocal chaos as they are all on the move to see the intruder. We have many folks who pass our house walking, jogging, riding bikes, or with their dogs. So after a while the windows become off limits. Quite has become an elusive thing around my house.

One by one the kids are leaving going off to college, just plain leaving the nest. By mid-June I will be childless for how long I have no idea. Mako has a pending adoption and I have been contemplating life without gates, free roam for the dogs, no more double and triple checking gates, doors and leashes. Life to do things I want to and not worry about the bitching because someone is not happy being left in another room without me. When I first started to entertain these thoughts of bliss it was so nice and I was excited to have this time.  Now the time is coming near and I am starting to not like the peace and quiet that will come with this.  I prayed so long for it now I don’t know if I can stand it. It is almost scary to think of how life without chaos will be.