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2014/05/09

Crop circles, who knew?




I think most dog owners will agree; especially small dog owners, that potty habits can be problematic at best. Now I have been around dogs my entire life so just when I think I have seen it all, I get a new reality check.  I have seen a dog poo on a stump, on a wall, on a foot, in a shoe, in a dog food bowl, in my bed, you name it; hell one of them shit on my paper I wrote for a class in college. Please I could not even tell the Professor what happened I just said I did not get it done and took my “F”.
I arrived home the other night and the girls had not gotten home yet so I went about getting the dogs fed.  I sat out the bowls scooped in the food then whet around and started the task of putting them all in the kennels to feed them. I started in the back room and then worked my way back to the living room where I discovered the strangest looking poo I had ever seen.  The fact that it was the consistency of a dollop of pudding and uniformly placed in a perfect circle, was amazing to me. Now it was not there before I went to the back room so the fact that it was done in a very short period of time and so neatly done it took me by surprise.  As I stood there and admired its conformation, I found myself think which one of these Damn dogs had such talent. I almost hated to clean it up it was so perfect, well as perfect as poo can be. I finished the cleanup and fed the dogs, I put everyone outside and settled in for a cup of coffee and the nightly news.  Later that evening I went down stairs to do some work on the computer when I discover my second sighting of perfectly shaped and placed dollops of poo in a circle on the floor in my room.  Ok now this is starting to bother me because I can’t believe the damn dogs have this kind of talent and who the hell has diarrhea, because those dollops are starting to get a little runny.  Really who poos in circles anyway.   The kids came home and the evening went on relatively uneventful till bed time.  I put the dogs out one more time before bed and went about doing my evening rituals and came across another crop circle this one did not have the finely defined dollops it actually had wet string connectors, connect the dots if you will, the only good thing was this one was on a pee pad. Easy clean up and bring the dogs back in. The final crop circle was discovered in the wee hours of the morning as I plodded into the kitchen for a drink of water to have my foot slip on the slimy crop circle.   I will leave the reader to imagine what I said as the whole house was now awake. I never learned who was making shitty crop circles but when I saw Gideon chase his tale, his circles had a distinct size that resembled the crop circles.

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