Just wrap them.

Life at work has gotten pretty stressful and I feel like I am in a pressure cooker most days.  Some days more than others. So once I am in the, work like a fool mode, I really do not want to be bothered, and most definitely not by my kids who can take drama to all new levels.  Last week I am in the trenches at work when the phone call with the panicked voice of one of the girls comes in. English is the second language for the girls and when they are submerged in drama about something, Hell everything, they start talking so fast It is hard for me to jump into the conversation and pick up on the subject let alone follow it.  So far all I had gotten on the call was I left my bag at home and  I am on the bus. As my mood deteriorates I said "And what do you want me to do about it?" Ma I don't have a bra. Wow! Thanks for sharing, how did you get on the bus with out one on? As the panic rose in her voice my ability to figure out what she was talking about waned. Will you please start over and tell what is wrong? The speed at which she was explaining was as if she was a 45 record turned up to a 78. After many questions I learned she was trying to cute corners and decided to not shower two times in one day. So she skipped the morning shower left her night cloths on put a coat on, packed clean cloths and gym cloths to work out in then left them at home and got on the bus. Her choices was get off the bus and catch one going back home walk a mile home from bus stop get bag and start over. OR buy some other cloths and continue on and hope she made it to class on time. She oped to stop and buy more cloths. Money being another problem she thought she would jump off the bus run into Volunteers of America second hand store and grab something to wear. All went well till she realized they do not sell bras. She tried dollar store and still no luck. I am laughing my ass off as she tells me this.  I have not helped in any way and all I could do was laugh at her. Then she yelled " What should I do?" Now I am not only laughing I am being sarcastic when I yelled back "wrap them like we wrap Mako's ears and go to class" Click!  I guess that was not the answer she was looking for. But it did make my day better by laughing so hard at her.

My nursing skills suck

As my close rescue friends will tell you I am not good with the sick and injured dogs. I can work with them but I do much better with behavior issues.  I am not squeamish and I do not panic but I do get scared. I am always worried about keeping up with all the medical needs they will have. I worry about forgetting meds as I forget mine own a lot. I want them to be healthy and happy.   I worry about their comfort while they recuperate. It can cause me a lot of distress as I can not sit with them all day and make sure they are doing well. My nursing skills suck to say the least.
Now working with a dog that has had surgery for skin cancer  has challenged me in every way. I have put all the other dogs needs on hold as I have gone the whole 9 yards and made myself crazy taking care of this dogs needs as he continues to be himself. I really think he is in so much pain, I  feel bad and coddle him. Now Mako is or is not feeling pain, I can only imagine how I would feel and I am a wimp. Now I think he took advantage of me, that being said the little bastard has drove me nuts. I kicked all the other dogs out of my bed so I could watch him and make sure he was comfortable all night I lost sleep worrying about him. He took over the entire king size bed as I tried to not bother him. Then second night after surgery I awoke to something touching my nose. In my drug induce sleep I swatted at the thing bothering my nose and my hand hit something and sound of a plastic bowl hitting something brought me out of sleep totally and I opened my eyes and the first thing I see is Mako's nose on mine and my head is inside the damn dogs cone of shame he is wearing to keep him from pulling at his stitches. Now this is what scary movies are made of. For all the folks who sleep with their pets they know the feeling of waking up to one end or the other of the pet, shoved in their face.  The second night my dogs where not having any part of being shoved out of bed and started the whimpering whining that keeps you up all night. By the third night I needed sleep so I opened up the bed to all but Sipan to come and sleep with us. This did not fair any better for a good night sleep as there was so much grumbling going on all night long. Gerrrrrr he touched me, Gerrrr his butt is in my face, Gerrrrr I was in that spot, Gerrrr who farted, and so on as the growl's continued through the night. Hell these dogs are grouchier than I am when I need sleep. The forth night Mako went back to the couch by himself and life returned to some kind of normalcy. To keep the big dogs apart I have gated off rooms all the way through my house and one has a little door to allow the little dogs to move about with a little more freedom and keep big dog separated.

Now the stitches are gone along with the cone and we found that Mako's determination to get into things has him squeezing through the little door to get to kitchen. He can get out of his cage and his nose is always looking for food. He opens the cupboard and helps himself to what ever he finds.  He is not a counter surfer but he is a counter sweep. He just drags his nose and lips along the top edge of the counter as he walks along on his hind legs, scoffing up any little smug,crumb or sandwich he can find. He gets his spot on the couch and will chase off any of the other dogs who are on the couch no matter where they are. He just thinks its his. Now he will come up to us and try to wiggle himself between us and the couch or chair we are sitting in. He is a master at this as we are not even aware of him till his 38 lbs of flesh has taken over our spot and we are being squeezed. He is healed and I am not so worried about his surgery any more,  he is just a bigger version of a Damn dog, and sick or not they are all the same and my sanity is still in need of help.

Nesting Gerbils

I now think my Sipan believes himself to be a nesting Gerbil.  He never chews or destroys toys or anything else, until he is kenneled during the day.  He does not bark or complain when in his kennel he just shreds his bedding.  As he gets in and out of the kennel the stuff clings to his pads just long enough to break loose on the carpet out side of his kennel. I use to go daily or every other day and take out the nest of shredded bedding and give him clean. I have stopped as I am running out of blanket for him to destroy.  Now instead I just have to vacuum the stuff off the carpet till his kennel bedding is now all gone and I need to start all over. Hell I even tried picking it off the carpet and putting back in. But the definition of stupid is to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. I am not sure how a 38 lb Gerbil will survive the chilly house this winter without blankets. Damn Dogs

Hackers wanted...

I have given some serious thought to the job of Hacking. Now as I have gotten hacked twice this year makes me think that there must be some good money attached to this job. Now is there some place like Hackers Central where they have a warehouse full hundreds of cubicles with 4 computers in each cubicle.   As I think about this they must need to sleep so they will need time away from hacking others computers. This will take 4 shifts to make this job a 24/7 never ending job. I don’t suppose they would share a computer so they will need one for all 4 shifts.  Now I am thinking that the swing shift is for the most serious of hackers as they must not have any life to work those kinds of fluctuating hours. Are they paid on commission, $$ per computer hacked or is it a straight hourly rate. Hell maybe they are just salaried. I am thinking it must be a commission thing as there would be more incentive to sit at a computer all day trying to make others’ lives so miserable.  Because if they are not making money doing this they need some serious consoling as they have no life and no friends.   Or do they just do the   9 to 5 thing and come home with a nice cup of Joe and hack away till bed time instead of watching Reality shows on TV.  I am just having a hard time wrapping my mind around why do people hack and is there really people who the hackers can catch in their little webs of deceit.   I guess they are from a different planet than I am. It gets harder and harder to keep myself on track to get all things I need to do done. I long for the day of hard line phone with a party line and rabbit ears on my TV. Then the only thing I had to worry about was who was listening in on the party line and TV was a novelty and it wore off quick as no one wanted to stand and hold the rabbit ears. So we grabbed an ice tea and sat on the porch with our neighbors till the street lights came on.

Recycled Pillow

 

I have way too many dogs coming and going through the house to keep cute little beds or pillow for them. I have tried but the Damn dogs either mark the hell out of them or destroy them. Now I have not found one of the dogs that have loved their bed so much that they tried to recycle it. We took in a new foster recently and he came with a bed and a pillow to lie on. I put him and his things in the car and he immediately sought out the pillow and curled up on it and went to sleep. He made himself comfy and went to sleep before I put a mile behind me.  The bed was newer and nice so I put it up, to go with him when he leaves for his forever home and throwed the pillow on the floor for him.  He immediately jumps on it, curled up and made himself at home. This gave great cause for everyone else to come and check out the new guy and his pillow. He really did not appreciate all the cold noses in his face and or butt. He made it clear from the get go this was his pillow and he was not sharing.

The pillow sat in the kitchen for about a week most of that time the new guy was curled up in it.  As he became more comfortable he started to hang out in the living room with everyone else.  One night I was in the basement puttsing around and I heard some muffled commotion in the kitchen. I figured it could not be too bad as the sound was low and almost inaudible. Later I found that this was not to be. The big dogs had a gay old time tearing the thing apart.  The stuffing was everywhere, and just standing there with my mouth open was not getting the mess cleaned up so I grabbed a plastic bag and broom. I picked up as much as I could and placed the bag of remains of the pillow on the counter stoop. Swept and took the dust pan out to the curby dumpster to empty.  I came back and went straight to bed, not giving one more thought to the bag of stuffing.  Next morning I put the dogs out and got my things around to get ready for work. I let the dogs back in and started to make coffee. I turned and saw the bag sitting there.  I started to grab it to through it out when I noticed something inside that did not look like the remains of the pillow. The new guy was all curled up in the garbage bag with the remains of his pillow. He made it known he was not ready to let the pillow go so I let him stay in the bag till I had to leave for work and then I evicted him. Now it was not more the 45 minutes longer that he got to stay in the bag but that was long enough for the other damn dogs to piss on him and the bag. I was not prepared to give a dog a bath before work but choose not to try and explain why I was late.  I just said “I over slept”.

Tongue and Gums

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4nwyJd9Z7I&list=UUYtxoY-gGO9A7rHt43dTEhA

As my pack gets older the dynamics of the pack are changing, personalities have even taken a hit. The constant revolving door of dogs that come through here keep them in constant state of evolution. I have even seen the fosters change. Now that the big dogs have come into the small dog world it has been a never ending cranky, bitchy, grouchy, snarling  and snapping bunch I have ever been around. Now there is no damage to the pack just my sanity has been sent down the toilet. The big dogs love to play, but they don’t understand that the little ones are not always up to the kind of play they do.  Gideon is always ready for a hell of good romp and the more the merrier for him. So he and the two big dogs are always romping, thundering through the house and as they go they piss off someone that now is trying to chase them off but it leads to, Hey you want to play too. Now there is a pack of dogs running through the house some are mad some are playing and some are chasing the others away. One dog does not like movement so as long as no one or nothing is moving he is happy but let someone leave their seat and he starts barking, Gideon and the big dogs are just noisy with their mouths open and making all the vocal sounds they can come up with. Now Chiquita is just an older pissy dog. I feel like I can relate to that, she just bitches at everyone. She does not bite she just growls: she sounds like she is gargling with her head in a bowl of water and making bubbles at the same time she is growling. Hell she even chokes herself when she does it. Just coming into the same room she is in or getting too close will get her started. Gertrude is that and a bag a chips. She struts herself around and no one tells her what to do. She is bossy and proud of it. One of the fosters is a frustrated fun size dog. He is all of maybe 7 lbs and his little mouth can’t bite nothing and the big dogs are too tall for him to grab a tail or ears. So he just shows his itty bitty teeth and snaps at the big dog and they pay him no attention at all. It’s if he does not exist at all. I think this frustrates him even more. Now the one that kills me is the foster that has two teeth. Now he cannot keep his tongue in his mouth so for him to bare his gums and growl his tongue falls out at the same time. I have no idea what he thinks he is going to do with the tongue and gums but he gets no respect either.

It takes a little time to get everyone settled down in the evening and that is not the problem its keeping them settled down. Between three kids and 9 dogs all trying to get a spot on the couch it is damn near impossible to keep them settled. Move a leg, wag a tail and the whole settle down thing goes out the window. The diehard dogs will not move a muscle or give up their spot on the couch.  They glue themselves to their spot and the other dogs just sit on them when they are trying to re plant themselves.  Then the bitching starts. The younger dogs don’t care it’s just something fun to do. The older dogs just don’t want no part of this constant reshuffling every few minutes. Once the big dogs get down the little one try to stand their ground and keep them off. All this does is make me crazy. The big dogs just stand there and look at the snapping frustrated little dog and the tongue and gums dog as if to say “ Are you kidding me what do you think you can do.” Then they just crawl up and sit on them. It is a none stop bitch session. I just want a noise switch to turn it off. Then they can bitch and I can have peace and quiet.  That being said I am sure my kids want one when I get bitchy.

 

Airbags or not...

Life in itself is a learning experience. There is never an end to our learning throughout life.  I on the other hand resist it as much as possible.  Most things I just hate to learn. I hate to put things together with written instructions; I hate to take the time to learn new programs on the computer and hate to learn new technology. It seems the older I get the less I want to learn; I truly do not know why. I still do not know how to check my voice mail on my cell phone.  I find new things that I can do with the old things I have had for a while. My van still surprises me after all these years. 

Now a couple of years ago I just learned that the passage seat tells the passage side airbag if there is a child in the seat and shuts itself of. Not that I have small children but I do have petite kids and we always made fun of a couple of the kids that the seat thought were kids and shut itself off.  I mostly have forgotten about this feature as I have never been in an accident that the airbags went off.  It is not on my mind what so ever. The girls have all grown just enough that the seat does not confuse them with a child any more.  There is a light on the dash board that lights up when the airbag is turned off.  It is always on so I don’t pay it any attention as the light is always on. I know shame on me. But in my own defense, the reason the light is always on is my purse that sits in the front seat if no one is riding with me.  The damn thing is so big and heavy the seat thinks there is a kid in it. So I know my purse will survive the crash and the airbag won’t kill it.  I am starting to get obsessed with how much something has to weight to turn the thing off. I find myself putting extra stuff in the seat along with my purse to see if the thing will come back on. I could read the manual but that would be way too easy….   Last weekend I had to make a dog transport run to TN, VA boarder to pick up a dog.  The dog is a big PIO/Xolo mix of some kind. Now one of the girls went with me to keep me awake so I could drive down and back in 27 hours.  Now with the loss of sleep that comes with these transports I get stupid sometimes.  All was going fine and about 2 AM I decide to take a nap in a rest area. My daughter chases the dogs out of the back seat and lies down. This sends one of the dogs to the front seat to curl up and sleep. It was the new guy. Now he could not curl enough to fit in the seat so his legs hung out all over the place. I found I could not sleep because I was totally fascinated with the huge dog sitting in the front passage seat next to me. He is the goofiest guy. He is so curled and contorted in the seat his head is straight up the back of the seat his four legs appear to be sticking out every direction and he is bent right in half, and to top it off he is snoring. After a while I realize that the kid in the back seat snoring and the huge dog all over the front seat snoring is making my nap impossible. My neck hurts my back is killing me and Hell, might as well drive no chance of falling asleep. I left the car walked the dogs and then use the facilities myself, the whole while the kids in the back is still snoring.  I get in the front and the big dog gets in the front seat again and when I start the car I notice for the first time the light is not on. So get out run around the van and drag the dog out of the front seat. Now nothing happened but I am unaware the car must be in drive for the bells and whistle to start. Now the kid is up and need to run to the potty. I put the dog back in the seat and jump in and move the van closer to the building, again I notice the light is still not on. Ok, is the thing broken all together, I run around the van and got the dog out of the front seat and still nothing. I put the dog in the back my daughter comes out and off we go. No light on so now I don’t know if it works or not. Note to self, get that thing checked.  Now yesterday I come to work and I am by myself, with my purse riding shotgun and I see the light on. Well this has me all intrigued, and I am not letting go of the issue, is the seat/airbag working or not. On my way home the light is on and my purse is sitting in the seat. I get inside the garage and put it park and the light goes out.  What the Hell! Do I have gremlins?  Now this is my clue to ride the wave of insanity while I figure this mystery out. I get out and head for the house and see the dogs running crazy in the back yard and the light bulb in my head come on, and I grab the big guy and go back to the car.  I put him in the front seat, and it was not as easy this time as he thinks we are have a fun game of keep away and high hurtles over the back seat.  I finally get him in and put the damn seat belt around him to keep him in the seat while I turn the van on. NO light. Now the light bulb goes on again in my beady brain and I put the thing in drive. NO light. Ok, now I am convinced it is broken. I reach over and push the seat belt button and the dog jumps the seat and goes to the back of the van. In one swift motion I grab my purse off my shoulder and flung it in the front seat so I could turn the van off and just as my fingers hit the key the light comes on. That’s it! Now I am plain crazy and will get to the bottom of this thing if it kills me. Of course the owner’s manual is in the drawer under the seat but NO! That is way too easy to get that thing and read up on the seat/airbag. I crawled in the back and brought the dog up front. Writing about doing this is so much easier than actually doing it. Then I go through the, put the dog in the seat, take the dog out of the seat, put the bag in the seat, and take the bag out. Put the van in drive put the van in park and so on and so on and so on. Now I am out of breath and sweating like an idiot and realize the dog is so big the seat thinks he is an adult and my bag is not big enough so it thinks it is a small child and turns the airbag off.  I grab the owner’s manual and go in the house and read up on the seat/airbag; could have saved myself a lot of time and frustration if I had done it in the first place. GAWD sometimes I worry myself.